A mother of five suffers a stroke live on international television, and no-one bats an eyelid.
Well, except her, obviously.
Category: Uncategorized Page 60 of 122
Homophobes Who Quote The Bible
They say: “Yeah, well, it’s not natural – after all, in the Bible, it’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.”
You say: “Ah, but the Bible clearly advocates incestous same-sex relationships.”
They say: “What?”
You say: “Well, the first children born were Cain and Abel, not Cain and Mabel.”
People Who Use Words They Don’t Understand
They say: “Are you inferring I’m [whatever it is they think you’re implying]?”
You say: “No, but I’m certainly inferring that you don’t know the meaning of the word ‘infer’.”
People who are trying to scare you into not doing something
They say: “If you do [whatever], there’ll be hell to pay.”
You say: “Well then, I hope Satan takes Mastercard.”
(And then you go ahead and do [whatever].)
… and if you’re wondering how I found these items, well, I was looking for a nice Christmas present to give to you. Oh yes.
As I mentioned a few months ago, the BBC Writersroom are currently running a series of roadshows where you can hear more about what they do, say hello, and even save postage by handing in a script for their perusal.
Well, the latest venue to host the Roadshow is none other than Brighton, a town for which I have a lot of affection (indeed, I was there just over a week ago, dining at English’s Restaurant to celebrate my lovely wife’s birthday). The BBC Writersroom folks will be there on Thursday 4th December, 6.00-7.30pm, at the Sallis Benney Theatre, Faculty of Arts and Agriculture, Grand Parade.
As with all the most exclusive of gatherings, you need to get your name on the guest list to get in, and so you should send an e-mail with your name, and the subject line ‘Brighton Roadshow’ to writersroom@bbc.co.uk.
That’s pretty much all you need to know, but if you want to make sure that I’m not just making this stuff up, then the BBC’s version of the above information is here.
If you do go, please let me know how it went. And could you get me some chocolate-covered honeycomb from the sweetshop on the Pier, while you’re there? Ta.
One of the sights which I always found fascinating as a kid was that of raindrops clinging to cobwebs, making them look like a net of jewels.
Imagine my delight on seeing not one, but four such water-laden webs this morning, on some park railings.
Huzzah for my phone’s camera facility, I say!
… And of course a cheer for nature, for making this phenomenon happen in the first place.
Click to enlarge and see the real reason the Large Hadron Collider has been switched off until next year.
(Is this offensive? Only, I think, to scientists who might not like to consider the possibility that they might be wrong. But if you disagree, that’s what the Comment function is for…)
If Angus and Janette were romantically involved, they’d find their wardrobes doubled at a stroke.
Just a thought (mind you, she doesn’t look too impressed)…
As you may have heard, The Guardian newspaper here in Blighty is currently giving away free booklets each day on the subject of ‘How To Write’ – each booklet covers a different area.
However, for those of you who aren’t close to a newsagent, and/or don’t want to give money to the Guardian, the booklets are available online. And in the spirit of making sure you can all have a look without having to lash out 80p for a paper which you’ll just lob in the recycling bin, here are the links to the booklets which have been issued so far:
How To Write Plays And Screenplays
Yet to come are booklets on Memoir and Biography, Journalism, and Books for Children. You should be able to find them online in much the same place, just navigate by date at the foot of the left-hand column (‘Recent Editions of How To Write’).
I’ve read the ones on Fiction and Comedy, and whilst seasoned scribblers might justifiably say that they cover well-trodden ground, there are some points in there which bear repeating. Well, they did for me, anyway.
Have a click and see what you think…