Category: Pictures Page 33 of 46

Factual, You Say?

This level of understanding as to what words, y’know, actually mean might be a clue as to why the ‘London Lite’ newspaper is given away free, as opposed to them asking you to part with the old hard-earned for it…

Winter Non-Warmers From Bennetton’s Winter 2008/9 Collection

Blue lips are, as you may know, one of the symptoms of hypothermia.

Probably better to buy your winter woolies from somewhere else, then.

And Doesn’t Melvyn Bragg Evince His Oft-Expressed Love For Cumbria By Spending Much Of His Time In London?

Sean Connery’s new book, ‘Being A Scot’ there. Critics have suggested it’s disappointing in that it reveals fewer details about his career than they might have hoped.

Speaking purely for my puerile self, I find the subject of it a bit odd, given that he’s lived in the USA for the best part of three decades. And, it seems, I’m far from the most high-profile person to have commented on this.

Mind You, Compared With Iggy Pop’s Phallocentrism, This Is Positively Dignified, Isn’t It?

Perhaps rather ungallantly, Phil Jupitus has said that in recent years, every time Madonna sings something ‘raunchy’, all he can hear is the phrase “Come and give your Auntie a kiss”.

For my part, I find it far more disturbing that so many of her videos and publicity shots seem to be rather emphatically … well, let’s say groinal. It might be that as the mother of several children, she’s quite intoxicated with the life-creating power of her womb, but in a strange parallel with Mr Jupitus, when I see recent pictures of Madonna, almost all of them make me hear words in the same vein as the following…

“Look at my crotch! Look at it!”

“I don’t care if you want to look or not! Look at it!”


LOOK AT IT! And then, buy the album and tickets for the tour. Thanks.”

I Would Have Posted This Pair Of Twins In 2003 If I’d Had A Blog Then

And the strangest thing is, I’m pretty sure that both adverts appeared, mere pages apart, in US comics of the time.

Photos From Our Wedding

Thanks to the speedy work of our friend and wedding photographer, I can cheerfully present the following for your amusement…

Jules is my wife now, in a very real, and legally binding sense. That being the case, you may well wonder why she’s smiling.
As my expression reveals, I can’t quite believe my good fortune. And that’s as true now as it was on the day.
The Best Man, The Luckiest Man, The Bride and Bridesmaid. I fully expect this picture to be in the next issue of Tatler, probably in the Society News column.
I told you we’d practiced for the First Dance.
I’ll stop there, rather than posting dozens of pictures, but in case you hadn’t guessed by now, we had a terrific day, and I’m very pleased and proud to be married to Jules.
Or, as I prefer to call her at any given opportunity, my wife.

In The Kingdom Of The Brand…


…the one-idea man is King.

Is This Style Of Picture On A Seven Year Cycle Or Something?

I was reminded of the similarity between the cover of the 1994 graphic novel Brief Lives and the DVD sleeve for the 2001 film Thir13en Ghosts when I saw the DVD cover for the 2008 film Shutter…

REVIEW: Kung Fu Panda

This film’s been out for a while now, but I thought it was worth a quick review… if nothing else, it gave me an excuse to put this picture up, which is actually a pretty good summation of the general tone of the film.

Anyway, the basic story is that Po, a rather rotund Panda living in a valley with many other anthropomorphic animals (well, this is a Dreamworks animated feature), ends up being nominated as the ‘Dragon Warrior’ who will defend the valley and its citizens against the vicious snow leopard Tai Lung. Po, of course, is wildly unsuitable to be the Dragon Warrior, having more enthusiasm for Kung Fu than actual knowledge or ability. The previous five candidates to become Dragon Warrior (Monkey, Tigress, Crane, Viper and Mantis) are also sceptical of Po’s credentials, and are open in saying as much to their Kung Fu master, Shifu. Shifu’s position is further complicated by the fact that Tai Lung was his student some years ago, and developed his fighting skills under Shifu.

Upon the news that Tai Lung has escaped from prison, the five would-be Dragon Warriors (and Po) set about preparing to defend the valley, and essentially the film is about them finding a way to do this. I’m simplifying a lot here, but I’m keen to avoid any spoilers, as I really would urge you to see this film and enjoy the story for yourself, because it’s a lot better than you’d probably imagine or expect – I’ll cheerfully admit that I had my reservations about it going in.

My main reason for feeling hmm about Kung-Fu Panda was – aside from the fact that it’s yet another CGI film featuring animals – the fact that Po is voiced by Jack Black. I really liked his turn in the film version of High Fidelity, but since then it’s felt as if he’s been playing the same character, and it’s not necessarily a role I want to see over and over again. So, I was wary, but he seems to be well-cast here, and the setting of the story seems to rein in any possible tendency towards overdoing it.

The playing of Po is pretty decent then, and Dustin Hoffman is really good as Shifu, his master, but the stand-out voice performance in the film has to be that of Tai Lung – the villain of the piece – who, I was amazed to find out, is played by Ian McShane. I know, I know, he’ll always be Lovejoy to most of the people in the UK, but he snarls and menaces his way through the film like Terence Stamp as General Zod, in a really well-judged performance.

The animation in the film is top-notch too – opening with a great sequence which looks like old-style Chinese paintings brought to life, and featuring some glorious scenery, it’s almost a perfect example of how to do CGI. The fight scenes are really busy and action-packed, but you always know what’s going on, and the sequence in which Tai Lung escapes from prison is visually very exciting.

The story’s not overly demanding, but it’s well-paced, with some nice little character bits, and a lot of laughs (many of them slapstick). Perhaps the most telling remark I could make on this would be to point out that in the cinema where we saw the film, there were quite a few children in the audience, and whilst some of them were talking a bit in the first few minutes, they were sufficiently drawn in by the film that they were quiet for the rest of its running time. That, in itself, might be recommendation enough for those of you who have children.

Overall, then, I’d recommend this film – my expectations were only moderate, but I enjoyed it a lot, laughed out loud several times, and thought it looked great (especially on an IMAX screen, where the often beautiful vistas completely fill your field of view). If you can, I’d recommend seeing it on the big screen. It’s rated ‘PG for Mild Martial Arts Action’, but as the BBFC rating decision says, the film’s generally light tone means that there’s not much to scare in it, and so it strikes me as a pretty perfect film for a family outing. Definitely worth leaving home for.

Methinks The Hairy Men Do Protest Too Much (By Which I Mean ‘Frequently’)

This was the scene on Friday 8th August, when a number of protesters disrobed on Victoria Street in London and protested about climate change into front of the BERR (formerly the DTI) building.

I was passing by, and thought it was worth capturing for posterity, and sharing with you good people (it’s just taken me a few more days than I anticipated, as I couldn’t find the cable to connect my phone to the PC. Tch).

Anyway, two thoughts occurred to me about the protest:

Firstly, the BERR staff are predominantly civil servants, and given my experience of the way that civil service flexi arrangements work, on a Friday afternoon it’s quite likely that the protest might have gone unnoticed until the following Monday, for want of people actually being in the building.

And secondly, given that the BERR building is a short distance from New Scotland Yard, it did seem to take a surprisingly long time for the protesters to be removed. I can’t help but wonder if that would have been the case had it been an all-male protest…

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