Author: John Page 64 of 121

Why I Doubt I’ll Be Watching The Watchmen

Some people might have felt that my comment in yesterday’s post that “a filmed version of Watchmen makes about as much sense as a musical version of the Mona Lisa” was a bit dismissive and reductionist, so I thought I’d expand on my point – unpack it, if you will.

Watchmen, for those of you who aren’t familiar with it, was a 12-issue comic series released in 1986-7 by DC Comics, the US-based firm who publish Batman and Superman, and who are a small subdivision within Warner Brothers, or Time Warner as I think it’s now known. The series (which was always set at 12 issues, having a self-contained story to tell) was written by Alan Moore and drawn and lettered by Dave Gibbons, with colouring by John Higgins. It was published in monthly(ish) issues, with no adverts, and generally featuring 28 pages of comic story, and 4 pages of background material.

I was going to try to summarise the plot here, but it’s so clever and dense I risk under-selling it by trying to precis down to one paragraph; but it’s definitely one of the first – and most successful – comics to cover the question of what it would be like if there were superheroes in the real world. The writing is more intelligent than the vast majority of comics (and indeed novels), and the art is perfectly judged in all regards – Watchmen is often said to be the Citizen Kane of comics, and whilst that’s true in that it casts a shadow over everything that follows it and remains a standard which few have attained since, the meshing of the creative team feels more like Lennon and McCartney in that they’re both at the top of their game and productively nudging each other to do the best work possible.

As you’ve probably gathered by now, I’m a huge fan, and I’m not alone in that – it won a Hugo Award, and was included in Time Magazine’s 2005 list of the 100 Best English-Language Novels ever. There was steady and solid praise for the comic as it was released in its individual issues, and there was a minimal period of time after its completion before it was gathered into a single volume of 360-odd pages. The collection has remained in print pretty much ever since then, and is a consistently good seller.

Now, after many years of a film version being suggested and multiple drafts of screenplay adaptations having been written, the trailer for the film version to be directed by Zack ‘300’ Snyder has been released (you can see it here ), and there’s been a surge of interest in the original work, coupled with discussion of whether or not it’s a good idea to make it into a film. The creators themselves disagree about this, in fact – Alan Moore thinks it’s a bad idea, but Dave Gibbons has been quite supportive (visiting the set etc), and the two of them have been quite gentlemanly about this (Moore’s made sure his name’s not on it, and has given his share of the money to Gibbons).

My casual point yesterday, though, sums up why I think it’s a poor idea – one of the many charms of Watchmen is the fact that it’s so very specifically designed to do things in the comic medium which you simply can’t do in other medium (obvious example: Chapter 5, ‘Fearful Symmetry’ is arranged so that the scenes and panel layouts on the page are symmetrical – the first page is the same as the last, the second as the penultimate, and so on until they meet in the middle). This sort of detail is something which you can’t transfer to film, and there are many other comic-only narrative tricks and little background elements which won’t make the transition.

Terry Gilliam, who was lined up to direct the film version in the late 1980s, has said that “the problem with Watchmen is that it requires about five hours to tell the story properly, and by reducing it to a two or two-and-a-half hour film, it seemed to me to take away the essence of what Watchmen is about.” Well said, Terry – whilst there are some works which I think can be reduced and compressed in the transition to the screen without any genuine deterioration (‘American Psycho’ and the ‘Lord Of The Rings’ spring immediately to mind), for any work longer than a couple of hundred pages, you’re looking at a question of what to remove. And with something like Watchmen, which is so cohesive and tightly-packed, removal will inevitably equate to loss.

So I think that the creative reasons for the film are pretty feeble, though I’m painfully aware of the commercial reasons – the comic isn’t owned by the creators (I understand that the rights will revert to Moore and Gibbons if the book ever goes out of print for more than two years, which is unlikely since they did such a fine job), and so the surge of interest in the run-up to the film and after its release will mean DC / Time Warner make money from the increased sales of the book and associated merchandise (including some items which are simultaneously ridiculous and creepy ).

On another level, though, the excitement with which comic fans have greeted the film’s trailer strikes me as a bit odd; it’s often as if having a film made of a comic is in some way a validation of the story in question, or even the comics medium as a whole, as if the commercial plan to build on an existing property (unlike adaptations of novels for the screen, comics come with inbuilt storyboards and costume designs) is in some way the same as comics readers being told “hey, you know, your comics are almost like a real artform… they just need to be made into films”.

Okay, I’m overplaying it, but this apparent underdog mentality amongst comic readers (and creators, and publishers, and so on) strikes me as ultimately unhelpful; it’s less prevalent in Japan or Europe, to take obvious examples, but it still seems that UK and US comic readers all too often seem to see a film being made of their favourite comic as the ultimate seal of approval.

There’s really no need for this, surely – Picasso drew a comic strip, comic-related books have won the Pulitzer Prize not once but twice, Alex ‘The Beach’ Garland has written a Batman story … I mean, just how many validations or commendations does the medium need ?

Worst of all, if the Watchmen film loses all the subtlety and nuance of the original work, it’ll be the only experience people have of it, and – as was the case with the frankly useless Judge Dredd film in the 1990s – it’ll mean a lot of people say “Watchmen? Oh, I saw that, it wasn’t much cop” and don’t bother to look at the source material, which would be a shame, as Watchmen is one of those works which everyone goes on and on and ON about, saying how great it is, and when you actually take a look at it, you know what? It’s even better than that.

(Mind you, most alarming is that the Watchmen trailer has been well-received despite featuring music from Batman and Robin, itself a film which hardly helped comics be seen as a serious medium.)

I’ve Got A Smattering Of Links To Bring You – Tough Links, And Cuff Links, And Um, Doo Be Ding Doo…*

Do you live outside the UK? Then you might be able to access this free ‘motion comic’ version of Watchmen issue 1. For the record, whilst the film trailer looks quite pretty, a filmed version of Watchmen makes about as much sense as a musical version of the Mona Lisa, to my mind.

Alexander Armstrong and Ben Miller revive their characters Craig Children and Martin Baine-Jones for what seems to be a new series of free podcasts.

I’ll wager more than a few gents of a certain age have been disappointed by this particular product’s name.

I urge you to look at Section 53 of the judgment in the recent case of Mosley v News Group Newspapers Ltd. Nicely put, The Honourable Justice Eady, very nicely put indeed.

*With apologies to Messrs Batt, Pratt and Steele.

My Big Fat Wedding Tip

As long-time readers will be aware, I’m getting married later this month.

If sitcoms and films are to believed, the groom’s an almost unwilling participant in the whole business – no doubt I’ve been guiled into proposing by some crafty female shenanigans, and am almost a non-participant in the preparations, reduced to little more than a bit-part dupe who just says “whatever you want, dear”, writes cheques as required, and shows up on the day.

For my part, I prefer to think I’ve met a remarkable woman who I want to spend the rest of my life with, and that we’ve worked well together to plan a day which will be both a legal ceremony and a party with music and cake and booze, but it’s very much a personal thing, I guess; a lot of grooms don’t want to get involved in the specifics of table decorations and the like, and some people see the wedding as being pretty much ‘the bride’s day’, so I can see why the groom might be somewhat sidelined.

Anyway, I wanted to share the one thing which has, as the day draws nigh, been the big and over-riding lesson I’ve learned about arranging a wedding, and which, if possible, I’d try to impress upon people in a similar situation. I don’t think it’s necessarily a new insight, but wanted to share it, just in case.

Okay, here we go. You ready? Drum roll…

If you can, tell both sets of parents to bugger off.

Obviously, I don’t expect you to actually use those words, but from what I’ve seen over the years, parental involvement in weddings is a major issue. It’s partly to do with generation gaps and the like, but the main problem which often happens is that there’s a complicated interference by well-meaning parents, an interference that’s often armed with the twin swords of financial control and (this is the more potent and emotionally-charged one) a delayed attempt to make amends for deficiencies in their own wedding.

In many cases, parents (often the bride’s parents, though no necessarily) pay for the wedding. And in many of these cases, the parents want to ‘be involved with the wedding’ as a result – or, as the happy couple are more prone to see it, they want to interfere, and invite relatives and friends of their own. And this latter point is the stickier one, because when Mum and Dad are paying, there’s always the implied leverage (or sometimes not so implied) that since they’re paying for it, well, it’s only reasonable. I seem to recall a terrific exchange on this subject in an episode of All Quiet On The Preston Front, which went roughly as follows:

Mother: Don’t forget, we are paying for this wedding.

Bride-To-Be: I know Mum, but you’re not buying it off me.

I think that’s very true; a lot of parents, with all the best intentions, think that by stumping up the money, they get to be very involved indeed, right down to drawing up a list of ‘suitable attendees’. I know that this was the case with my parents’ wedding and many others of their generation, and the problem is, this seems to create a residual feeling that their wedding day wasn’t quite as they would have wanted, and this niggling feeling takes root in the back of their mind until, a generation later, they start trying to live out their unfulfilled day by inviting Great-Aunt Shirley to their child’s wedding, despite the fact that the kid has no idea at all who this person is. And so the cycle begins again.

I’m simplifying, sure, but having told both sets of parents that we’ll pay for the wedding, and that as a result they get no input whatsoever into who’s invited (and indeed, if they don’t behave themselves, that they may not be invited either), m’lady and I have sailed through the whole process with a tiny fraction of the hassle I’ve seen amongst others in a similar situation. Actually looking at the guest list for the day and knowing that every single person attending is going to be there because we want them there is, surely, much better than (to give a real example from my experience of spectating on such things) being forced to invite someone who was the bride’s mother’s neighbour when she was growing up, but who the bride hasn’t seen in a couple of decades… and all because of the implied leverage of the parents paying for the event.

It’s not always possible on financial grounds to pay for your own wedding, I know, but if you’re thinking about getting wedded and either or both sets of parents offer to pay a large chunk of it (that is, what business folks might call a controlling interest), if you agree to take their money, I strongly, emphatically, urge that you accept only on condition that they don’t think it gives them any kind of right to influence or control the day. This sounds a bit cold, I know, but my experience is that it makes this so, SO much easier.

If the above tip isn’t relevant to your wedding arrangements, though, then my other, hot off the press tip is that you do not engage the firm ‘Wrapit’ to arrange your wedding list* . A tip which, I think, applies across the board, to weddings guests and happy couples alike.

*We actually thought about using them, but didn’t really care for the rather perstersome way they kept phoning and telling us to come in for a consultation session. Thank Buddha their poor customer service approach made us go elsewhere – though it does help explain how the company didn’t manage to make any profit at all in six years.

The Problem Probably Originates With Me Not Just Accepting That The Picture Is There, I Know, But…

The picture here shows the front of the leaflet with which National Car Rental advertise the merits of joining their loyalty club Zoom.

Which is all well and good, but … well, what the jiggins is that picture supposed to depict? The driver appears to be holding her hand out, and I really wouldn’t like to speculate as to why.

… well, save to suggest that it puts me in mind of an gender-reversed version of the film Rita, Sue and Bob Too.

With His Face At That Size In Front Of You, You Might Feel A Bit Like Sarah Silverman*

I can’t go myself, as I’m attending the wedding of a very good friend the next day, but I have to say that this strikes me as one of the most amusing pieces of programming I’ve seen in some time.

And it’s quite prescient too – I’d imagine that come the end of the three films, many people will be red-eyed and senseless with fatigue, able to say little more than “Matt Damon… Matt Damon…”

*Search on Youtube to see what the hell I’m on about. And prepare for adult language.

This Is A Public Service Blog Posting

Some days are more difficult than others – weather, transport, the pressures of work and home life, or even the poor manners of strangers in this sometimes indifferent world can put a dent in your day, and cast a shadow over your mood.

With that in mind, I wanted to supply the picture to the left of these words as a mood-lifter should you be feeling a bit glum, or in need of something to make you smile; I mean, which of us doesn’t feel cheered by the sight of Robert Kilroy-Silk covered with manure?

From My Virtual Postbag

It’s not all spam offering me the chance to buy some V1@gra – here’s a genuine e-mail I received today:

“We thought that you might be interested to know that tickets are now available for a brand new entertainment show taping at The ITV Studios, Waterloo this Sunday! As with all of our shows, the tickets are FREE!

MY LITTLE SOLDIER – hosted by Bradley Walsh

My Little Soldier is a brand new entertainment show for Saturday nights, which will be recorded this Sunday, where children are the stars of the show, but without realising it! Children are given a task by their parents and we follow their hilarious antics on a hidden camera. The children will then be surprised in the studio by our host, Bradley Walsh.

If you would like to join us in the studio, then apply now!

The show will be recorded at The ITV London Studios, Waterloo on Sunday 3rd August 2008 at 1.30pm.

Booking is now open and you may apply online via our website at http://www.sroaudiences.com or by replying to this email”

…No, I shan’t be going to watch the filming. To be honest, I doubt I’ll be watching the finished product either, as … well, let’s just say that it doesn’t really sound like my kind of thing.

The words ‘ITV’ and ‘entertainment show for Saturday nights’ made me sceptical, and then they mentioned Bradley Walsh was hosting it.

Besides, I’ve seen ‘Child’s Play’ and ‘Hider In The House’ (the TV shows, not the films of the same names), and I think that’s probably enough of that sort of thing for me.

A Wanderer, Lonely As A Cloud

I know that David ‘Tenth Doctor’ Tennant and Cliff Richard both appear to have the ability to regenerate (or otherwise to fight the ravages of time), but I don’t know if this was what they want us to associate with his performance as Hamlet, somehow…

Yes, yes, I know it’s a reference to this painting. Indulge me, if you will.

The (Man Whose Face Was Rendered) Scarlet (With Rage By The Removal Of A Single) Letter

Did you watch the Supersizers programmes on BBC2 recently? I did, and though I was familiar with (and a fan of) Sue Perkins, I didn’t really know much of Giles Coren, the co-presenter, but I was pleased to see he was pretty witty, and he and Perkins made a good match in terms of banter and overall fun. So I’d kind of concluded that he was an ‘all right chap’.

But it seems that he’s a little bit keen to send … let’s call them ‘strongly worded’ e-mails to people, and not always over issues of burning importance. Here, for your delectation, are three of the e-mails he’s purportedly sent to people who’ve annoyed him (two of them in the last few months, one several years ago). I can understand the frustration on some level, but … well, come on Giles, do you eat restaurant food with that mouth?

Sweary: Giles writes to the Times about the sub-editor removing one letter from one of his reviews.

Swearier: Giles sends an e-mail to a fellow restaurant critic who suggested Giles had used his status as a critic to get a better choice of menu.

Sweariest: Giles writes to a magazine whose sub-editors made a change to his review of Mike Dunn’s (clever and funny) book ‘Ella Minnow Pea’ .

After all, it’s now as if changing one letter will substantially amend the meaning of a sentence

REVIEW: The Dark Knight

I think I’ve written before about my near-obsession with Batman (consider it akin to Jerry Seinfeld’s feelings for Superman), so you probably won’t be surprised to know that I went to see the new film last night.

There’s been a lot of hype and hoo-ha and coverage about it, not least because of the death of one of its stars and recent allegations made against another (hence the picture above, which is something that is oddly appropriate given aspects of the film), but I’m going to stick to commenting on the actual film here, not personal aspects connected to the cast or the marketing push.

Overall, I enjoyed it a lot, and it’s probably about as good a Batman film as you could hope to see; the plot’s full of twists and genuine surprises, and even though the film lasts something like 150 minutes, I get the feeling that certain storylines or scenes could have been given a bit more room to breathe. That said, it scoots along at a fairly breathless pace, in a nice taut way – even the sequences which look more like character moments tend to have some resonance or ramifications later on in the film.

I’m trying to keep this review spoiler-free, but suffice to say that the overall plot is a logical continuation of the situation at the end of the previous film (‘Batman Begins’), with a new District Attorney in place as Gotham’s various gangs scramble to take control of the various rackets in the city. Cue the Joker, in a performance by the late Heath Ledger which is more likely to generate nervous laughter than genuine chuckles. The Joker’s played here as an agent of chaos, and given that Batman is almost the living embodiment of one man’s attempt to impose some kind of order on a chaotic situation (both in his own life and that of his city), it’s only right that, as the film goes on, Batman struggles to anticipate the Joker’s next move.

You’re probably wondering, though, about the explodey-boom bits, and if there are good gadgets and vehicles, and oh my goodness yes there are; some of the stunt-based sequences are really rather spectacular, but like a film such as Raiders Of The Lost Ark, the scenes actually have a reason to be there as the story unfolds.

I mentioned Ledger’s performance, but I think it’s fair to say that there is not one bad turn in this film; it’s a strong cast, and all of them do very creditable jobs, even if some of them have to do less to impress – maybe it’s just me, but I do feel that Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman have sufficient goodwill in the bank that just seeing them in a film is a good thing.

The end of the film is interesting, too – whilst it leaves things open for another in the series, the status quo has been shaken quite considerably, so it would be interesting to see how the story would be continued. Given the box office success of the film, a continuation seems likely, but if it wasn’t by the same team (cast and crew) a dip in quality would seem pretty much inevitable, though I’d be happy to be surprised.

Overall, then, this is a film I’d wholeheartedly recommend – it functions well as a crime film or a thriller, and has enough character bits and explosions to keep the eyes as well as the brain entertained. If you can see it at an IMAX cinema, by the way, I urge you to do so – some of the sequences have been specially shot to take advantage of the screen and sound capabilities of the IMAX technology, and it’s very well used indeed – it enhances the film without being gratuitous.

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