Category: Uncategorized Page 44 of 122

About The First Part Of The Red Riding Trilogy on Channel 4…

… I have to ask: am I the only one who thought that certain shots were very similar to Lost Highway?

The shots of the road at night were much the same as the opening of the Lynch film, but even more of a match was the final shot of Dunford in the car, shaking his head, which struck me as … well, pretty much the same as the final shot of Lost Highway.

I’m not knocking it, as I enjoyed 1974 a lot (even if it felt rather overlong, I loved the slightly odd and barren nature of it), but I haven’t come across any other mention of this (and I like to think my web-fu is quite good).

And All Of A Sudden, I Post Something About Writing, Causing Many A Startled Double-Take

As I haven’t written anything about writing for a while, that’s what I’m doing, right here right now.

I like to think I’ve been fairly productive recently – I’ve submitted pieces to the following:

– The Quickreads Work Tales competition : not heard yet about this one, but I think an announcement is due around the end of March

– The Tate Modern TH.2058 competition : Didn’t get into the final six, but it was fun to write (you can see my short story here).

– Along with something like 700 other people, I sent some sketches in for the forthcoming BBC 7 on 7 radio show. I didn’t make in into the group who were invited to a workshop on Monday (9 March), but the notification I received said that they’d be getting back to me about submitting more stuff when they’re gearing up for the actual series; I gather that they also said less hope-inspiring e-mails, so this was quite positive.

– And over the weekend, I sent in some vox pops to the BBC Talking And Not Talking radio show. I was quite pleased with some of the lines I sent, so I’m fingers-crossed about this one (not heard anything yet, but it’s only been about 48h since the deadline, after all).

I’ve also managed to rework the structure for my novel The Body Orchard, which I’m happier with now – it should make it more clear to the reader why there’s pre-existing bad blood between the detective and the villain of the piece.

And in my head, I’m working on a really-rather-low-budget UK-based horror film screenplay; I know how it starts, and how it ends, and a lot of the stuff in between, but I’m just working on some of the character stuff, and trying to decide whether I could merge it with another idea which I’ve had knocking around in my head for a while, though that might mean changing the tone a bit.

Oh, and I’ve having to entirely revamp my far-too-long-on-the-hard-drive radio play to send to the BBC Writersroom, as I’ve recently discovered that one of the main characters not only has the same name as someone who actually exists, but that real person is also a noted expert on a subject which is one of the themes of the play; anyway, I don’t think it’ll hurt for me to do another pass through the script generally.

Finally, I’m feeling the urge to send some material in to 2000AD again; I appear to have a semi-tradition of getting stuff published in the Galaxy’s Greatest Comic about once a decade (though I’m not fooling myself that the [in]frequency is due to my delicate creative sensitivities requiring some kind of planetary alignment), and I’ve had a couple of ideas recently which might well be Tooth-appropriate, as it were.

I’m sure I’ve forgotten something – or some things – but I just, y’know, wanted to make it clear that this blog isn’t the sole extent of my recent writing… oh, hang on, I forgot to mention my modernisation of Cyrano de Bergerac and my far-too-late-to-be-a-spec-script-but-I-wanna-write-it-anyway Frasier episode, didn’t I ? Ah well, I’ll just have to bring those up some other time.

Overall, it’s not so scarily productive as to make you all wonder just when I sleep, I know, but on the other hand, I’m feeling suitably fired up both about the ideas and the actual act of putting words on the screen (or page), and so I can feel things gearing up in a way that I find pretty satisfying (not quite as satisfying as typing ‘FADE TO BLACK’ or ‘THE END’, granted, but let’s face it, very few things are as good as that).

“To Him The Porter Openeth; And The Sheep Hear His Voice: And He Calleth His Own Sheep By Name, And Leadeth Them Out”*

Paul Haggis.
Osama Bin Laden.
Edie Brickell.
Chuck Norris.
Timbaland.
Sharon Stone.
Rick Rubin.

What do all the above-named people have in common?

That’s right, they were all born on this day, 10 March. And whaddaya know, 38 years ago, so was I.

I don’t work on my birthday (and have managed to stick to that rule for over a decade now, and not just so I don’t have to supply my workmates with cakes), and so, apart from posting this at the exact time of my birth**, I don’t expect to be posting anything else today… let’s both enjoy the absence of updates, eh?

*John 10:3, but I’m sure you recognised the source.

**Sorry Mum.

Two Lessons For Monday Morning: Should Take About 20 Minutes In Total

Firstly, here’s a little animated video which explains the Credit Crunch in terms that all of us can understand (it’s just over 11 minutes):


The Crisis of Credit Visualized from Jonathan Jarvis on Vimeo.

And secondly and more culturally, one of Alan Moore’s most acclaimed Swamp Thing stories, The Anatomy Lesson, is available as a free and entirely legit download from DC Comics if you click here. That should take you about ten minutes to read, and hopefully sheds some light on why he’s so respected as a writer (not to diminish the art by Steve Bissette and John Totleben, of course; they’re both perfectly suited to the material, with the layout and linework is, even twenty-odd years on, very impressive. Though for some reason, the colouring in this freebie version is rather heavy on the yellow, when Tatjana Wood’s original colours are more green-centric, for obvious reasons).

It’s just after 9am on Monday, but I’ve already given you pressies, you lucky folks. Let’s hope the rest of the week is this shiny and smiley, eh?

A Quick Message To My Brother

If you’re reading this in the usual location, don’t forget to wash your hands afterwards, eh ?

The perils of the Blackberry, ladies and gents.

Oh, how I wish I were kidding about this…

Frostrup Wins!

Rock beats scissors.

I Thought I Saw Some Rhubarb To Go With It, But It Was Just Celery With High Blood Pressure

You can see the details of the story here or here, but I love the way it led to one of the most ridiculous Evening Standard headline boards ever.

And let’s face it, that takes some doing.

Should We Really Venerate The Young?

Opening in UK cinemas today, the film Young Victoria, about the life of Queen Victoria.

Interestingly, one of the producers of this film is Sarah Ferguson, along with Martin Scorcese, and the film’s written by Julian Fellowes, who wrote Gosford Park. And as you can see if you click the picture here, there’s quite an impressive cast too.

But I know what you’re thinking: you’re wondering if the fact that the film has the word Young in the title bodes well or ill, in a manner akin to the numbering of Star Trek films. Well, m’loves, you’re in luck – to assist in knowing whether Young Victoria‘s title formulation makes it likely to be what we film buffs call ‘good’ or ‘bad’, I present a selection of other films beginning with this word…

…hmm, looks like about a 33.3% chance of succeeding, on the basis of my very scientific approach.

I left out Young Guns II, because I felt that would have skewed the numbers. Somehow, I think you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me.

World Book Day 2009

I am both startled and pleased to report that today is World Book Day 2009 (the former reaction because it hardly seems a year since the last one, and the latter because it’s good thing).

As with last year, £1 book tokens are given to large numbers of schoolchildren, and a selection of £1 books are made available in bookshops. I’m sure you can see how those two events can be made to interweave happily.

It’s not just about young readers, though – a number of Quickreads, short books priced at £1.99 and aimed at occasional or learning adult readers will be published today, featuring popular writers and characters, in the hope of encouraging more people to read.

So, if you know someone who’s been given a £1 book token, or someone who doesn’t read books very often (a habit a lot of people seem to take pride in, much to my bewilderment), why not encourage them to try one of the WBD books? Or even buy one for them as a pressie.

It could cost less than a cup of coffee, is less likely to end up in the toilet (I hope), and could start, or re-kindle, an appreciation of the written word.

(I have no connection with WBD or any of the authors or publishers involved – I just think it’s a really good idea, and want to alert people to the event.)

Actually, I Only Got Into The University Of Life Through Clearing, and Back Then It Was A Polytechnic

In about 1994, I visited a friend of mine who was studying at Cambridge University. Whilst I was there, we went to visit a friend of hers who was having a kind of open afternoon thing, and tea and toast were being served (pretty much the staple of student life, and all too often the culinary accompaniment to late-night discussions about the state of the world).

There were some people there I hadn’t met before, and one of them was involved with Cambridge’s Tibet Support Group. As I’ve probably mentioned before, I’m interested in this issue, and when she mentioned that the Dalai Lama had visited to speak to them a few months previously, I asked what he was like.

“Hmm,” she said, and paused. Would she say he had a certain presence, I wondered? That he radiated a kind of indefinable warmth and compassion? That, despite everything he and fellow Tibetans have suffered, he was all smiles and laughter?

“He’s quite fat,” she said eventually. Hmph, thought I. Not quite what I was expecting, but undeterred, I launched into a frankly gripping anecdote from the news a couple of years prior to that date, which involved a student travelling in Tibet and being received very favourably by the local people because he was wearing a T-shirt featuring Phil Silvers (above, star of Sgt Bilko), and the Tibetans mistook it for a representation of the Dalai Lama (also above). But as I regaled the crowd with my tale, I was being met with slightly blank looks, as opposed to the nods and semi-smiles I was expecting as I approached the punchline (well, explanation). And suddenly I realised why.

Oh God, it dawned on me. They don’t know who Phil Silvers is.

Now, I wish I could pretend that this (true) story is being presented by way of demonstrating that my intelligence was superior to everyone in the room that day, but that’s almost certainly not the case, and so it’s not why I’m writing about it; what I’ve always felt it does demonstrate, though, is that there are often fairly major differences between academic ability and intelligence or general knowledge.

It’s not a new insight by any means – I’m sure we’ve all met people who seem to have a veritable alphabetti spaghetti of initials after their name on their business card, but seem to lack the basic social skills to go into a restaurant and order, for example, a plate of spaghetti. As the old saying goes, there are many things you don’t get from ‘book-learnin’, and anyway, the entry requirements for the University of Life are slightly less stringent, especially if you’re an old boy (or girl) of the School of Hard Knocks.

Anyway, all this is a typically Soanesian build-up to a current news story, the fact that the recent winners of the BBC quiz show University Challenge have had their victory withdrawn. One of the winning Oxford Corpus Christi team turned out not to be a student by the time they reached the final, and this is one of the entry requirements (and there now appears to be a suggestion that previous winners may have broken this rule as well).

Now, there’s some justifiable debate about whether Granada, the programme’s makers, have made this rule harder to comply with as their shooting schedule no longer correlates with the academic year (meaning you could be a member of a college in the opening rounds but have left by the time the team got, say, to the semi-finals), but the fact that attention’s now being paid to the practicalities of the way the show is made should also mean that people should also spot the reason why Oxford’s team screwed up, and made a mistake which led to the loss of the title: they could have asked a member of the production team if they were still okay to field the team member in question.

But they didn’t ask this simple question – and if they had asked and been told no, all teams (as I understand it) have a reserve team member, and so that’s who should have filled the chair. Instead, they don’t appear to have asked, and this simple mistake – I’d say schoolboy error – led to their disqualification.

If you’re not sure if you’re allowed to do something, or that you might not be doing it correctly, the best way to find out is to ask someone who knows. If you don’t ask, you could get into trouble further down the line, and it might also look slightly arrogant, as if you don’t care if the rules apply to you. Social skills and general worldly ability can often be rather over-rated, but even if you want to become a hardcore academic, it’s probably a good idea to learn how to deal with people, in case you have to deal with them when you’re trying to, for example, get a publisher to turn your PhD thesis into a book. Knowing absolutely everything ever is of pretty limited use if you can’t get people to listen to you in the first place because you’re rude or otherwise socially lacking.

Incidentally, I’ve only recently become a regular viewer of University Challenge for the simple reason that it’s fun to shout out the answers at home, and it has – in comparison with many other TV quiz shows – a lot of questions; most of them seem keen to pad the proceedings out with bursts of music or lighting effects or pre-scripted insults or other weak links, but UC just has loads of questions, on a good spread of subjects (it’s not all questions about Juvenal, some of the topics are pretty juvenile).

It’s just unfortunate that, in relation to the issue of eligibility, not one member of this year’s Corpus Christi team was willing to ask a question.

Page 44 of 122

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén