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Harrison Ford Appeared In The Episode Mystery Of The Blues, Though Those Bookends Weren’t Cut (Not Entirely Surprisingly)

As it was – notionally – Henry Jones Junior’s 110th Birthday yesterday, and following a recent re-watch of Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade, I thought I’d just mention a recentish Lucasfilm re-edit of existing material – less glaring than Greedo shooting first, granted, but still rather strange, to my mind.

The 1992-1996 TV series The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles wasn’t a wildly popular show – probably, I suspect, because it often came over as an uncomfortable mix of entertainment and historical fact; the young Jones meets a lot of historical figures (Lawrence of Arabia, Hemingway, Picasso and so on), and if you don’t know who they are or know their historical significance, it’s kind of reduced as a show.

Anyway, it was shown in various slots on UK TV, and I rather liked it, partly because episodes were often bookended by ‘present day’ (that is, early 1990s) encounters between people and an aged Indiana Jones, played by George Hall. As you can see from the picture accompanying this post, Jones in his 90s appeared to have lost an eye, which of course leads to the question of how, suggesting a story yet to be told.

And yet, rather inexplicably, Lucasfilm (presumably with the blessing of George Lucas – also pictured, he’s the one without the fedora) have edited out the ‘Old Indy’ aspects of the show for the DVD release. It’s not fatal to the story by any stretch of the imagination, though I rather liked the suggestive nature of the missing eye and facial scar (even as it does remove the suspense of the films, as we know that Jones will survive to a ripe old age), but it does strike me as rather symptomatic of a tendency to tinker which Lucas (and his pal Mr Spielberg) seems unable to resist.

Ultimately, the films etc are Lucas’s baby, and so I think that one has to concede that if he wants to add or delete stuff, then he’s free to do so; the usual excuse given is that it takes it closer to the original vision, though I must admit that if I was responsible for some of the most well-loved films of the last 50 years or so, I’d probably tend to leave well enough alone – however I suspect it’s the fate of creative types to only be able to see the flaws in their work, whilst if it finds an audience, they will probably focus on the merits.

I’m increasingly feeling that there is a tacit agreement between creators and their audience, though most of my feelings about this boil down to simple commandments (thou shalt not deus ex machina, thou shall know where thy story is going, that kind of thing) than to the exact nature of ‘entitlement’ within the relationship; as Neil Gaiman recently pointed out, the creator “is not your bitch”, and in the final analysis I suppose it’d best just to pretend there isn’t a new film or book or revamped version of the old one if you don’t like it. I know that’s easier said than done, and sometimes it’s bewildering how a creator themselves seems to lose sight of the aspects of their work which resonate with the audience, and indeed which made them popular (examples which spring readily to my mind would be the novel Hannibal, and Jewel’s album 0304). But – as Gaiman again points out – we’re talking about other human beings here, and they’re as prone to making errors of judgment as you and I.

It may be the sunshine outside, or the fact I have a cup of tea to hand, which is making me less snarly about this subject than usual; on the other hand, it may well be the fact that the excised Young Indiana Jones material has been lovingly compiled by some kind folks and placed on youtube in chunks such as this, and by sticking the letters ‘pwn’ before the web address, it’s possible to download the footage.

Um, you do know about that ‘pwn’ trick, right? If not, then I hope that me imparting that to you has made it feel like it was worth wading through the above rambling nonsense…

It’s Wednesday, It’s Just Past Five, It’s…

… a handful of minutes past the deadline for the BBC CBBC Writing Competition.

So, did any of you fine people enter? According to Royal Mail (yes, I know – hardly the most reliable of sources), my script was delivered this morning, and I know that Lawrence, Antonia and Dom have all entered too, so that’s at least four people. Any more?

Like many of the folks linked above, I rather enjoyed writing my script – which is called, at Mrs Soanes’s suggestion, The Secret Life Of A Bookworm – and was fairly pleased with how it turned out, even if, what with it being the first of a possible series, I had to get some exposition out of the way before I could get to the action. Still, I hope I did it pretty well, and I keep my fingers crossed about hearing back from the Beeb for the next stage, a workshop on Tuesday 28 July for the select(ed) few.

On the subject of hearing back, I see from the BBC Writersroom site that they intend to let people know if they’re through to the next round on Friday 10 July – that is, next Friday. Quite soon, then, but that’s certainly better than keeping people waiting.

And now this deadline is past, it’s on, on, ON to the next bit of writing! To the novel, and don’t spare the clauses*!

*Grammar, I mean, not Santa’s family.

Unlike Him, I Can’t Quite Put My Finger On It

I can’t quite shake the feeling that this picture might have been manipulated in some way. Not exactly sure what it is, but something about it isn’t quite right…

Taken from p4 of this, in case you think I’m making it up (as I so often do).

Just How Does Inflation Apply To The Cost Of Entertainment Media?

For pretty much as long as I can remember, the cost of CDs by the Beatles has been pretty stable – generally hovering around £15 per album (in shops, that is). It’s probably because they’re classics and perennial bestsellers, and it’s a good solid source of income for everyone involved. It’s also the reason I don’t have as many Beatles albums as I’d like.

Anyway, I was driven to think about this when I saw that one can now get the entire Monty Python TV series* for less than £16. Back when I was a teenage boy learning Python sketches off by heart instead of getting out in the sunshine or snogging girls, the VHS boxed sets of Python would set you back something in the region of £40 a series – so you’d probably be lucky to get the lot for less than £100 (though I know Mr Lomax got a decent deal on a set of all of them). And then they released the series on DVD recently, at about £15 a throw, which is way less than the VHS cost for a much better quality of image and sound. And then the deal linked above makes it possible to get all 45 episodes for £16. Presumably they’ll come out on Blu-Ray soon, and cost about £2.53, though for an extra tenner Eric Idle will come round and do your washing-up.

The same happened with Friends – the VHS tapes had 4 episodes per tape, and were about £10 each, so you’d be looking at something like £60 per series, or £600 for the whole run of the show. And now you can buy a boxed set of the DVDs for about £50. And it’s similar for The West Wing.

So, I’m rather bewildered; Python, Friends and The West Wing – which (I think it’s fair to say) are all still held in high esteem and rated as ‘classics’ of their genres – seem to have tumbled in cost over the years, and yet Beatles CDs – equally well-respected – don’t seem to have shifted much in price. And if it’s a question of the media involved (I can see how DVDs involve fewer working parts than a videotape), how can it be cheaper to produce a DVD than a CD? Less information, I would have thought. And why is it that boxed sets of The Wire are more like the Beatles CDs in cost? That doesn’t seem consistent.

Oh, my head hurts. Any of you good people have any idea why pricing seems to vary so much? I’m not being sarcastic or facetious here (for a change), I’d really like to know why it’s so unpredictable. If you can enlighten me, please use the Comment function to explain – words of one syllable are often best. Thanks.

*No, I’m not going to refer to it as Monty Python’s Flying Circus, because the acne-riddled teenage pedant in me is aware of the name change for Series 4. Oh yes.

You’d Think Being A WWII Super-Soldier Might Mean You Were Out Of Touch. Not Captain America, He And Beyonce Have Something In Common…

… unfortunately, like
Paula Radcliffe and many a late-night reveller in a CCTV zone, it’s having your image captured whilst ‘going toilet’.

I’m John Soanes, and this has been your Sunday morning dose of sophistication. Coming up next, a CD of Parzifal which makes it look slightly as if the titular character has his winkie on show. Four years studying Law , and this is how I spend my time? Believe me, I too shake my head in despair.

After A Particularly Harrowing School Field Trip, Substitute Teacher Captain America Snaps And Goads Dyslexic Pupils

(Click to enlarge as required)

Copyright Marvel Comics, obviously.

Interestingly, this semi-francophobia featuring one of American comics’ most patriotic characters was written by a Scotsman and drawn by a Brit. They clearly know how to please their audience.

Captain America Weekend: Prior Warning

To commemorate the announcement that Captain America is not dead after all (which, to long-term comic readers, is not really a surprise), I present Captain America Weekend here on the blog: pictures of Cap with infantile captions, going for a cheap laugh, pretty much for the simple reason that I can.

If that doesn’t sound like your sort of thing, normal service (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) will be resumed on Monday.

Writer’s Blog (See What I Did There? Oh, My Ribs)

Just a brief but self-indulgent post to share how I’m doing with my entry for the BBC CBBC writing thingy.

I’m making fairly good progress with it, I think, and hope this weekend to sit down with Mrs Soanes and have a ‘table read’, as ’twere a proper script for screen or stage.

As I go along, I’m painfully aware of bits which need work (exposition, though a necessary evil, will need to be pruned – or, rather hacked right back with a metaphorical scythe), but I’m ploughing on, and reminding myself that the fun of redrafting lies ahead – as I keep saying to myself, “get it written, and then get it right” (a saying I’m sure I’ve nicked from someone else, but offhand I can’t recall who it might have been).

Whilst the script’s flaws are currently all too visible to me, one thing I’ve been quite pleased with is the interaction betwene the two main characters – though I’m painfully aware that dialogue can easily be overwritten and end up being more fun for the writer and actors than the audience, I think I’m doing an okay job of capturing the speech patterns of two young people – two girls, no less, as I’m always keen to try to refute the assertion that men can’t write female characters (I don’t believe it any more than I believe the reverse to be true).

Anyway, back to it – how’s everyone else doing? Has anyone sent theirs in yet? I know I’m cutting it fine-ish with the deadline being Wednesday, but I like to think mine won’t be the last entry to arrive at the BBC…

REVIEW: ‘Calendar Girls’

I was slightly wary about going to see this play, as it could have looked as if I was sloping into the theatre in the hope of seeing a burlesque show starring women of my mother’s generation, so I wore my hat strategically dipped below one eye and my scarf covering my face, and nobody seemed to notice anything amiss.

Anyway, as you probably know, this is the stage version of the film adaptation of the true story of a Women’s Institute group in Yorkshire, who posed nude in 2000 for an ‘alternative WI calendar’ to raise money for a sofa in the visitor’s area of a nearby hospital. The women were prompted to do this following the death of one of their husbands. The calendar was an immediate – and ultimately international – success, raising millions of pounds for leukaemia research. In fact, a tenth anniversary calendar will be produced for 2010.

The stage version features an impressive cast (Patricia Hodge, Linda Bellingham, Julia Hills, Brigit Forsyth, and other familiar names) and they seem to have a lot of fun with a funny script, and everyone performs well, though arguably – and perhaps inevitably – the scene where they’re posing for the photos gets the biggest laughs, but it is very cleverly done. I’m not any kind of expert on these things, but the set and scene-changes were smoothly done too.

I might quibble slightly with the way a couple of obstacles in the second half seem to come up rather without warning, as if there’s a need to create some conflict, but to be honest that minor complaint is more than outweighed by the overall quality of the show, and I should add that I was particuarly impressed by the way that the husband’s death which is the catalyst for events isn’t milked for every last ounce of emotion, which would have been an easy route.

Definitely worth a look, I’d say, and a good example of a very ‘English’ kind of comedy, if you know what I mean – witty, and a little bit bawdy, but unlikely to offend (though two people in our row didn’t return after the interval; can they really have come to see the play without knowing what it was about and been that shocked?).

Ironically enough, this play about women taking off their clothes is running at the Noel Coward Theatre in London (until September, I think, though the run may have been extended). You can get tickets at good prices (we were right up in the balcony, and could still see all right) from the usual online places.

And just to reassure my male readers, no, it wasn’t like an oedipal burlesque show. You can safely attend without danger of feeling all strange in that way.

William Akers Is In London To Help You Spot Mistakes In Your Writing

I got an e-mail the other day from a chap called William Akers, asking if I’d mention his forthcoming talk on the blog. Given that Will’s a writer with actual produced films to his credit, PLUS the fact that he worked on Eerie, Indiana and Lois and Clark (two TV programmes I like), it would have been churlish to say no. And whilst I’m frequently childish, I like to think I’m not churlish. Well, if I can avoid it. anyway.

So: Will’s talk is called Fatal Errors New (and experienced!) Writers Make! and it’s being held at Met Film School (Ealing Studios, Ealing Green, London W5 5EP) on Thursday 2nd July between 6:30 and 8:30 p.m. Entry costs a mere £15, which you can pay on the door, though you need to book ahead of time by e-mailing beka[at]metfilm.co.uk. Let’s face it, you could easily spend that on a round of drinks (or a couple of coffees at London prices), so it’s quite the bargain.

You can find full details of the session here. Definitely worth going along if you can make it, I’d say (I’m already booked that night for a family event – pah).

Will is also the author of the attention-grabbingly-titled Your Screenplay Sucks!, pictured above, which you can read more about here, and buy from the usual places (and some of the more unusual ones too, I’d wager). Will also has a blog, which has solid advice on matters writing-related, such as the following on the idea of selling ‘an idea’ for a film:

Someone who has sold screenplays for lots of money can sell an idea, if they have a famous actor attached. Have you sold screenplays for lots of money? Have you got a famous actor attached?

If the answer to either question is “No,” then shut up already and write your script.

With that in mind, I’ll shut up and get back to writing. Hope that you can make it to the talk, though, it sounds like it’ll be useful – if you do, be sure to let me know all about it!

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