Category: Fish In A Barrel Page 19 of 23

This Week’s Puerile Post (Getting It Done Early)

Whilst it’s good that they’ve adhered to a suitably letter-based system for naming the follow-up, I do think that fans of the first film are going to be disappointed by the absence of any of the original cast and characters.

The rest of us will probably be relieved.

Sometimes, It’s Not The Front Covers Of Books Which Make Me Roll My Eyes In Despair

Yesterday, I bought the paperback of Sir Ranulph Feinnes’s autobiography; he’s climbed Everest and been to at least one of the Poles, and the other year he ran seven marathons in as many days, or something equally insane-sounding, so I think he’s a chap whose life story will be an interesting one. And besides, it was half price in Books etc.

On the back cover, though, there are a number of quotes, including the following from the Daily Mail:

“Sir Ranulph has earned his place in the heroic roll call of Scott, Shackleton and the rest.”

… I get the idea that the Mail reviewer was struggling to find people to name-drop who were, y’know, British. Hillary and Norgay, Amundsen, and even Columbus spring to mind, and oddly enough I have no problem in doffing my hat (or at the very least touching the brim) to people who’ve achieved things but happen to have been born outside of this sceptred isle.

The Daily Mail, on the other hand…

Health And Safety In My Workplace

Spotted in the kitchen in my place of work.

Microwave energy? Emanating from a microwave oven ? No! Surely you kid!

*whimper*

Slightly Blurred, I Think My Hand Shook In Time With My Head

Spotted on a Jubilee Line train here in London the other day.

All fairly standard religious stuff, but then you reach the last line, and … well, I presume all the folks involved in producing the tube card decided one preposition was as good as another.

I guess a person ‘believes on’ Jesus in much the same way that cheetahs ‘pray on’ the slowest wildebeest in the herd.

Oh Come On, You’re Not Even Trying Now

Sure, I don’t expect all book designers to be as innovative as Chip Kidd, but if you’re going to design a book jacket with a startling resemblance to another title, do at least try to make sure it’s not a bestseller, eh ?

And That Use Of The Word ‘Confluence’ Strikes Me As A Bit Questionable, Too

Whilst I was very much with the herd in commenting on the Olympic 2012 logo, I like to think that most of you might not have seen this yet: the logo for the Eurovision Song Contest 2008, which is being held in Belgrade next month.

Is it just me, or is that really quite unpleasant? It looks like the treble clef’s struggling to stay afloat as a blood-red starfish clings to it and drags it under.

Also puts me in mind of the animated flowers in Pink Floyd’s ‘The Wall’ film, but that might just be my smutty tendencies coming to the fore.

The Standards Of Education Today, Eh? In My Day We Wrote On A Slate With A Bit Of Chalk.

So what you mean is TWO missed calls, right? Couldn’t you just say that?

Sigh.

A Heartening Story, But…

… a frankly idiotic choice of advert to plonk right next to it.

(You may need to click on the image to see the full extent of the idiocy.)

I mean, come on

Look, I’m Not Exactly Proud Of This, But…

Q: What does Paris Hilton’s perfume smell of?

A: Semen and dollar bills.

I’m very, VERY sorry.

From Last Sunday’s ‘The People’ – Guess The Sub-Editor Was On Easter Holiday

Now, we all know that this was clearly a placeholder caption that was meant to be properly filled in later which (for whatever reason) wasn’t.

But given the press’s current obsession with Holly Willoughby’s chest, it’s a little unfortunate that the random keyboard-pounding for a placeholder produced a letter sequence which can really only be read aloud as ‘Titty titty’, wouldn’t you say?

Page 19 of 23

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