Look, I’m Not Exactly Proud Of This, But…

Q: What does Paris Hilton’s perfume smell of?

A: Semen and dollar bills.

I’m very, VERY sorry.


Five Year Plan? I Hardly Think So…


Declare Your Independents Part One Of Two: Joking Apart


  1. You should be VERY proud. Jizz gags are not nearly common enough in this day and age.

  2. Less common than the elevation of no-talents to the status of ‘celebrity’, I fear, which (implausible as it may seem) was the thinking which led to this two-liner.

  3. Being totally unknown is the new fame. Let’s see, how long before you actually see those words typed in earnest by someone who gets paid to write ? I think Ms. Hilton fulfils that need we have to hate, with real venom, someone in the public eye. Sadly she seems to be under the impression that people actually like her.

  4. One of my heroes, Alan Moore, said (in this interview ) that

    “…everybody wants to be famous, and I think all too often, you’ll see somebody who has maybe written one good book, made one good film, produced one good record, one good comic book. And all of a sudden, everyone’s telling him that he’s a genius, and he probably thinks, “Well, yeah, yes I am. I always thought that I was sort of special, and, yeah, that’s probably because I was a genius.” He’ll launch himself out onto the billows of fame, and he’ll be washed up in the tabloid press six months later, when his bloated, heroin-sodden carcass bobs up to a beach somewhere. It’s a dangerous thing. Fame does all sorts of unpleasant things to people. It tends to, in many cases, warp them. It doesn’t necessarily make them happier.”

    He’s a very intelligent and articulate man, is Alan.

    Unlike Ms Hilton, who I don’t really harbour that much venom towards, but she does seem to be the most obvious and basic kind of ‘celebrity’ – one sex tape, and family money, and the headlines are hers. It’s hardly a Marie Curie level of achievement, is it?


  5. Hmm, not so convinced that link worked – anyway, the source is


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