Then today’s your lucky day! Here are some visual links on the subject!
Category: Writing Page 21 of 24
1. It’s been a while since I did one of my round-up posts like this, I know, and I think it may well be because I’ve mastered the art of taking what should be a one-line post and making it into a whole paragraph. Perhaps a career in newspaper writing awaits? (Premonition: the King Tut exhibition in London beginning this week, plus the eye make-up Amy Winehouse wears, will surely lead some idiot to claim that ‘the Egyptian look has never been hotter!’, or some such page-filling piffle).
2. Speaking of whom, a joke I heard the other day:
Q: What’s Amy Winehouse’s favourite tube station?
A: High Barnet.
3. I find myself, as ever, watching very little TV for fun, and the vast majority of it is imported (Heroes, Flight of the Conchords, Californication, and 30 Rock, to name the majority of my preferred shows). Is there anything on any of the Freeview channels I’m missing out on? Do let me know…
5. Nanowrimo progress is very slow indeed, but I’m not giving up yet. Will certainly beat last year’s effort, but that’s hardly a push, I know…
6. Told you (in this post earlier today) that I’d make up for lost time. Should be six posts in one day by the time I’m done. Prolific, I know (though you know there could be a connection between this brag and the comment in point 5, above. Fortunately, I’m too stupid to be able to make any kind of correlation).
7. Want to go and see Steven Poliakoff talking about writing and stuff? Well, it’s next Monday in London, and free – click here for more info. I’m going, do let me know if you will be too…
8. Now, I don’t want to sound like an old fuddy-duddy (well, the use of the phrase ‘fuddy-duddy’ is always a headstart, but you know what I mean), but isn’t the whole ‘lolcatz’ meme a bit like ‘All Your Base Are Belong To Us’? By which I mean, it’s kind of incomprehensible and inaccessible to the general reader, not actually as wildly funny as some people seem to think, and may well out of favour by the time I’ve posted this…
9. Due to the techy hassles over the past few days, I was unable to post my usual Remembrance Day thoughts, which appears to have become a semi-tradition for me. So, in the spirit of ‘better late than never’, I’d like to post the following, which is a transcript of an interview which forms the opening and close of Roger Waters’s album ‘Amused to Death’. The dialogue’s taken from an interview with Alfred ‘Alf’ Razzell, who was a member of the Eighth Batallion of the Royal Fusiliers during WWI.
He was born in 1897, so he would have been in his teens during the events he describes – Alf talks in measured, grandfatherly tones of his time in the WWI trenches, and the last line (where he figures out the number of years) never fails to hit me like a kick to the stomach… For, I like to think, the best possible reasons.
Alf Razzell:
“Two things that have haunted me most are the days when I had to collect the paybooks; and when I left Bill Hubbard in no-man’s-land.
I was picked up and taken into [the German] trench. And I’d no sooner taken two or three steps down the trench when I heard a call, ‘Ooh, hello Razz, I’m glad to see you. This is my second night here,’ and he said ‘I’m feeling bad,’ and it was Bill Hubbard, one of the men we’d trained in England, one of the original battalion.
I had a look at his wound, rolled him over; I could see it was probably a fatal wound. You could imagine what pain he was in, he was dripping with sweat; and after I’d gone about three shellholes, traversed that, had it been…had there been a path or a road I could have done better.
He pummelled me, ‘Put me down, put me down, I’d rather die, I’d rather die, put me down.’ I was hoping he would faint. He said ‘I can’t go any further, let me die.’ I said ‘If I leave you here Bill you won’t be found, let’s have another go.’ He said ‘All right then.’ And the same thing happened; he couldn’t stand it any more, and I had to leave him there, in no-man’s-land.”
Years later, I saw Bill Hubbard’s name on the memorial to the missing at Arras. And I… When I saw his name, I was absolutely transfixed. It was as though he was now a human being instead of some sort of nightmarish memory that I’d had of leaving him all those years ago.
And I felt relieved. And ever since then I’ve felt… happy about it, because always before, whenever I thought of him, I was searching myself; “Was there something else that I could have done? And that always sort of worried me. But having seen him, and his name in the register; As you know in the memorials there’s a little safe, and there’s a register in there with every.. every name… And seeing his name and his name on the memorial.. It sort of lightened.. lightened my heart, if you like.”
Interviewer:
“When was it that you saw his name on the memorial?”
Alf Razzell:
“Ah, when I was eighty-seven…Ah, that would be the year, ninety f…eighty-four, nineteen eighty-four.”
So, I didn’t make it through to the next round of the Red Planet screenplay competition. I’m far from alone in this – I gather over 2000 people entered – but it was a good spur to get on with writing in the screenplay format, and rather than finding the ‘waiting to hear’ a torment as some people seem to, I like to think that no news is indeed good news. Plus, it means I have a screenplay in my ‘portfolio’ now, which has to be a good thing, yes?
As the Red Planet contest involved sending them the first 10 pages of the screenplay, I think I’ll see about posting the pages on my website . Yes, I know the website’s basic and horribly out of date – I’m working on updating it, I promise. Yes, I know I said that some time ago, but I mean it this time, honest. Really.
The only person I know of who’s through to the second round is Laura (well done, Laura!), though Danny Stack, one of the people involved in judging the contest, has posted some comments on the decision-making process here, and you can see a tongue-in-cheek response from Paul Campbell here . Reminds me slightly of the lyrics to The Beatles’ Paperback Writer , really (which is far from a bad thing).
(Firstly, apologies for the absence of posts in the last couple of days, my faithful and ever-growing audience. Had some techy issues, but I think they’re sorted out now. Don’t worry, I’ll make up for lost time, and we’ll have at least five posts this week, oh yes indeedy betcha by golly wow.)
Anyway, a few more links on the ongoing Writer’s Guild of America Strike. In case you hadn’t guessed by now, I’m hoping that the studios and the WGA can get back to negotiating, so everyone can get back to work; but I’m very much of a mind that the writers deserve to get more than the dollar equivalent of 2p for every DVD sold from one of their scripts, and certainly more than 0p (no, that’s not a typing error) for shows sold as downloads on iTunes and the like. The argument for this side of things is, I think, rather well put here .
Further to my recent post linking to a number of showrunners who are in support of the strike, here’s an ad which was in the US trade press last week from some more writers – some well-known and impressive names there, I think you’ll agree.
And finally, this site still rather perplexes me – I genuinely can’t tell if it’s a wind-up about the strike or not. It looks pretty sincere on the face of it, but when you watch the videos, it’s either the most Alan Partridge-esque calling card of all time, or a pretty good spoof. Take a look and see what you make of it, and let me know your conclusions… please. I need the hive mind consensus on this one.
If, like me, you’ve been waiting to hear if Red Planet Pictures want to see more of your screenplay, then this news will be of interest to you. Only a couple more days to go, it seems…
Also, if you’re wondering how I’m doing in my Nanowrimo bid this year, then I’ll tell you: 2,500 words so far. Not on target yet, but I like the resonance of the fact it’s 5% in 1/5 of the target time. Ahem.
I’ll see if I can provide a chart of my progress (if indeed it can be called that), and provide the appropriate link, in the next couple of days.
And in international news, the WGA Writer’s Strike continues , with cast members from various well-known shows coming out in support of the scribes.
Here’s Tom with the weather. Tom?
John Bowman was the chap who put forward the WGA’s side of things at the start of the negotiations about the current writers’ strike (see yesterday’s post), and you can read a copy of his speech – which I like for its measured tone, and the way it actively invites discussion – on this page.
Worth a look, I’d say.
As part of my whole ‘keeping an eye on the state of TV Drama’ thing, I’ve been paying a bit of attention to EastEnders. And I have to ask: am I truly the only person who thinks the whole Max-Bradley-Stacey storyline has gone on way, way too long?
For my money, there are fundamental flaws with the setup:
1. It seems unclear whether there’s actually been anything going on between Max and Stacey for the last couple of months
2. The character of Stacey seems to be limited to either scowling at her fiance or scowling at her fiance’s father, making her role (as the object of so much attention) frankly baffling
3. The character of Bradley has been reduced to that of a clueless idiot who can’t seem to spot that his fiance spends all her time looking on him with a barely-concealed mix of contempt and pity
4. None of the characters are likable as a result of all this, leaving the viewer with no-one who they can even partially root for
5. It’s been running since at least the start of the year. There have been a couple of times when it seemed like the whole messy business was going to be either revealed or in some way resolved, but this hasn’t been the case (even the ‘caught on tape’ aspect of recent episodes looks unlikely to be resolved immediately – I have a horrible suspicion that they’re saving it for Christmas) .
Maybe it’s my short attention span or something to blame, but this strand seems to have been going on since last Christmas or so (correct me if I’m wrong), and I think it would have been far better if, during the vows, it had gone more like….
VICAR:
And do you, Bradley, take Stacey to be your lawfully wedded wife?
BRADLEY:
I…
BRADLEY looks round, unsure of himself. Meets the concerned looks off various guests. Sees MAX looking surprised.
STACEY (whisper)
Bradley?
BRADLEY looks at her. His look changes to one of certainty.
BRADLEY
No.
A ripple of murmurs from the congregation. The VICAR looks taken aback. MAX looks worried. SEAN allows himself a smile.
BRADLEY
No, I don’t take you to be my lawfully wedded wife.
STACEY
But –
BRADLEY
You’ve been having it away with my dad for over six months –
STACEY’s face drops. Another buzz from the congregation.
BRADLEY
– and now you want the security of marrying me ?
STACEY
I –
BRADLEY
What kind of an idiot do you take me for?
BRADLEY shakes his head, smiles coldly. He’s in charge of things now.
BRADLEY
I just wanted to see how far you’d take the whole getting married idea, and see how far you’d take the lies. All the way, it seems. All the way up the aisle.
STACEY
Bradley, I –
BRADLEY grits his teeth.
BRADLEY
But now, in front of all our friends, I’ve shown you up for the liar you are.
(Beat)
And the kind of girl you are.
BRADLEY tears the flower from his buttonhole, throws it to the floor. Slowly, he walks out of the church, and as he goes, we see the reactions of the guests – horrified surprise from most of them, but barely-suppressed rage from TANYA, a victorious look from SEAN, and a look of genuine worry from MAX. Close on STACEY’s expression as she realises what she’s lost. We hear the church door slam.
FX: Drums and end theme
Okay, so maybe the above is a touch OTT, but I really wish they’d resolve the storyline – it feels like it’s been spinning its wheels for months, and there was a period of time when it was all too similar to the Dawn-May-Rob plotline (married man having affair with much younger woman). I’m guessing they want to keep it going until the Christmas Day episode – there is, after all, no better way to celebrate a happy family Christmas than by … um, gathering round the TV to watch fictional families’ unhappy Christmases.
As you may have heard, the Writer’s Guild of America (WGA) has just started a strike over payments.
Specifically, it’s about residuals – the money paid to the writers when DVDs of their work are sold, and for when episodes of TV shows are streamed over the internet (a growth area, it’s generally predicted, with packages like BT Vision looking the shape of things to come).
At present, the residuals on DVDs are at a rate which was negotiated some years ago (1985, I think), before the format became what it is now (that is, very successful, and a great way for studios to increase the back-end on TV shows in the absence of syndication), and of course online supply cuts out DVD production and distribution costs, so the payback to the creatives (of all stripes) should logically be higher… but currently it isn’t going to be higher, hence the strike.
If nothing else, if you take a look at this ad which appeared in Variety and the Hollywood Reporter last week, you’ll probably be able to spot at least one writer or showrunner from a high-profile show you like, which gives an indication of how strong the feeling is on this issue.
…well, I am anyway. Hello, how are you? All right ? Yes? Good.
I’m back after a prolonged (though not unforeseen) absence. As well as taking some time off from blogging to concentrate on my novel-related stuff, I also took myself out of dear old Blighty to the Dominican Republic for a couple of weeks (for those of you whose sense of geography is akin to mine, it’s in the Caribbean). Very nice, though Tropical Storm Noel was rather on our heels as we were leaving. Still, home safely, and it was a beautiful place, even if I had to go a fortnight without a proper cup of tea (airline tea most definitely does not count).
As for the writing: well, I made some progress with ‘Coming Back To Haunt You’, and now have the chapter breakdowns until the end of the book, but didn’t get it all done. But as per my plan I’ve started on ‘The Body Orchard’ as part of National Novel Writing Month – the aim of which is to write a 50,000 novel in one month (that’s about 1660 words a day). I don’t know if ‘TBO’ is likely to go over that wordcount (given my tendency to logorrhoea, I wouldn’t be surprised), but I’m aiming to get 50,000 words done anyway, and if the story needs more pages after that, then so be it. I started pretty well yesterday, possibly because I’m deliberately ‘turning off my inner editor’ to thrash out what I know is a first draft, so any mistakes or whatever can be corrected when I re-draft it. It felt quite liberating in a way to put stuff down knowing it’s not perfect by any stretch of the imagination – hope the novelty lasts (well, at least until the end of the month).
Whilst I’m quite pleased about the icon to the right, I’ll see if I can arrange a link to take you to an ongoing total of my word count. So far it’s about 1700 (I’m doing it longhand, so vagueness is inevitable), which is on target, but we’ll see how it goes.
Are any of you folks doing NaNoWriMo this year? Let me know if you are. And if you’re not, then feel free to post a comment or e-mail me some words of support/abuse (delete as applicable)…
As you can tell from this post, I’m back.
And as you can tell from the picture in the right-hand column, (Inter-)National Novel Writing Month is underway.
And as you will also be able to divine from the time I’m posting this, it’s late. So I’ll be back with more information after I’ve had some sleep.
Lots to tell, back soon.
*I am so very very sorry.