Category: Uncategorized Page 50 of 122

It Also Contains A Leaflet Urging You To Subscribe – Because, As We All Know, After A Few Weeks, They Tend To Stop Materialising On The Shelves

On 14/01/2009

I just spotted the first issue of this series in the newsagent today.

It’s one of those partworks which only tend to manifest at the start of the year, accompanied by TV ads telling you how it will “…week by week, build into a collection you – and your family – will treasure”. Though I guess that on this occasion, it might actually be the sort of thing that you’ll return to over time, no pun intended.

Mind you, it’s not necessarily very good value – 2 episodes per DVD for a standard cost of £6.99 doesn’t compare that well with buying the DVD boxes and a book, though as the first issue is at the introductory lure-you-in price £1.99, that’s not so bad for the first two Eccleston episodes. Cheaper than iTunes, that’s for sure.

If you want to look for it, it’s hard to miss; the magazine-bit and DVD come mounted on a sizey piece of cardboard, and the magazine features David Tennant pointing a sonic screwdriver out at the viewer… actually, putting him on it which strikes me as a bit off (or at least a bit previous), rather as if the cover of the similar Little House On The Prairie collection didn’t feature Michael Landon.

Belfast Isn’t Just A Track By The Popular Beat Combo ‘Orbital’, You Know

By John

On 13/01/2009

In Link, Uncategorized, Writing

Another BBC Writersroom roadshow has been announced, this time in Belfast. It’s between 5:30 and 7:00pm on Thursday 29 January, at Studio One, Broadcasting House, Ormeau Avenue, Belfast.

As with previous roadshows, they don’t want any old loonies just coming in off the street, so if you want to be one of the select loonies who’s on the guest list, email your full name in the body of an email with the subject heading “Belfast Roadshow” to writersroom.events@bbc.co.uk.

Full details are available here, though the above pretty much covers it.

If you live nearby, why not go along and hand in your script in person? Given yesterday’s rant about postal inefficiency, it sounds like a good way to avoid the vagaries of the postal service, and save money at the same time…

Always Rings Twice? It’s A Miracle If The Postman Rings The Once

By John

On 12/01/2009

In London, Personal, Uncategorized, venting

It’s probably fortunate that I didn’t have a blog at the time, but a few years ago, the local sorting office decided to start telling lies about me. I’m sure of this, because various bits of post – including test items that I sent to see if my suspicions were true – were returned to sender with a sticker on saying ‘Gone Away’. It was annoying (especially as it was just before Christmas), and ultimately a serious problem, as the bank (not entirely unreasonably) saw the ‘returned Gone away’ on my statements and suspended my account. Thanks Royal Mail, I hope you enjoyed the money that you were paid in advance to perform a service.

Anyway, that eventually stopped – though not without a lot of hassle from my end – but in recent weeks it appears that the local postman has found a new way to not do his job properly but still take home the pay. A fortnight ago, m’wife was home and went to check the post at about 11am, and saw that there was a ‘Sorry You Were Out’ card on the mat. However, not only had there been no buzz on the buzzer (and she wouldn’t have missed it, ours is very loud), but the ‘attempted delivery’ was noted as having been at 11.45am. Being one who enjoys a touch of sarcasm, she immediately called the local sorting office and asked if our postman was the owner of a Tardis.

They made suitably apologetic noises, and confirmed that yes, the parcel was waiting to be picked up – given that we’re nowhere near the end of the route, it seems probable that the parcel never actually left the sorting office, and that the postman had decided to drop the card in without trying to deliver so he didn’t have to carry the parcel (not a large one, incidentally). I mentioned the above in passing at work the next day, and a colleague agreed this was likely to have been the case – he’d heard a card being dropped through the letterbox (without any knock or ring of the bell), and run down the road after the postman and asked for his item, to be told that er, um, actually the parcel’s back at the depot.

This morning, we received another Sorry You Were Out card – again, with no buzz at the door – and after Mrs Soanes and I had grrred and ground our teeth a bit, I Googled to see if other people had experienced the same level of non-service from Royal Mail. I expected a few matches, but there were literally dozens of people who’d received You Were Out cards with no attempt to establish if they were in fact out. Startling.

Those people, mind, were strangers, and so I’m keen and eager to know if you good people, who actually have names and some of whom I’ve had the good fortune to actually meet in person, have had similar experiences. Have you chased a Royal Mail employee down the road to be told they don’t actually have the item? Have you had cards dropped through without the doorbell being pressed or a knock at the door? Or are you a Royal Mail employee who could disabuse me of the notion that sometimes the post staff just write up the Sorry You Were Out cards in advance, and leave the items at the depot so they’ll have less to carry? Like the Jeremy Kyle research team, we want to hear from you (though you won’t get shouted at ).

Proof, If Proof Be Need Be, That Sunday Posts Are The Equivalent Of ‘Friday Jobs’

By John

On 11/01/2009

In Fish In A Barrel, Pictures, Twins, Uncategorized

Forget Aliens, this is surely the strangest change of tone for a sequel, ever.

I’m sorry.

Advert Spotted In A District Line Tube Carriage

By John

On 10/01/2009

In Link, London, Uncategorized, venting

One of the recently-announced atheist / humanist adverts – and which, I see, has already been criticised.

Mind you, given that the complaints come from Christian Voice, I think we can probably assume it’s not necessarily a view shared by most reasonable religious folks.

You know the ones – they tend to have their beliefs and try to live by them, rather than verbally or literally attacking others for having differing ideas in their heads. Much like the founders of their religions asked them to, in fact.

Of Life Riley?

By John

On 09/01/2009

In Link, TV, Uncategorized, Writing

Does anyone know if the episode of new BBC sitcom Life of Riley which was on last night was, in fact, the first episode?

There were various jokes from the kids in the first five minutes or so about the dad’s previous girlfriends, but it didn’t seem to establish beforehand that Caroline Quentin’s character was their new Mum or whatever. And they appeared to be moving into a new home, but I didn’t know why… granted, I got a bit confused and wondered if I’d missed something vital, and didn’t stick around much beyond the 8min stage, but was this information there and I missed it, or not?

I’m genuinely not having a go at the writer – she’s a known name in comedy, with a pedigree going back to Spitting Image – so I’m more inclined to think that, for some reason, the BBC might have decided to play ep2 instead of a scene-setting opening episode. Maybe it was just me not paying attention, but if anyone can put me stright, I’m sincerely open to correction on this.

In Which I Try To Justify My Nerdish Level Of Knowledge About One Topic By Pretending I’m Really Talking A Broader Issue

By John

On 09/01/2009

In Link, TV, Uncategorized

There are many differences between TV in the UK and USA. The number of episodes in a series (often 6 in the UK, and more like 24 in the USA), the number of writers working on a show (the idea of the Writers’ Room, common in the USA, is a positive rarity in the UK, though it’s not unknown), and the tendency of American shows to have episodes comprised of clips from previous weeks (if not years), known as ‘clip shows’, are just a few examples.

A show going ‘on hiatus’ in the USA is another. Basically, this means that for whatever reason, the network or channel decides to stop showing a programme before the end of its projected run. It does happen, after a fashion, here in Blighty, but rather than the show just vanishing from the schedules, it tends to suddenly be re-located to some far-flung post-midnight slot; my first personal recollection of this happening was with the comedy Kinvig, though whether it’s because my 10-year-old self recognised the scripting ability of Nigel ‘Quatermass’ Kneale, or that I found something confusingly interesting about the sight of Prunella Gee in a number of materially-challenged costumes, is open to debate.

Anyway, US shows which go on hiatus tend to vanish from the schedules and not come back, or if there’s a concerted viewer campaign, they may return. I don’t know of any notable examples of a show going on hiatus and then coming back and running for a prolonged period (anyone? Seinfeld started off with low ratings but then went on to enormous success, but I think that was more slow and steady than a case of being reprieved, though I could be wrong) – what usually seems to happen is that a show comes back, runs for a few more episodes in order to complete the series (or ‘season’), and then that’s yer lot. I think that’s pretty much what happened to Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip recently.

Further off in the mists of history – and you’ll be relieved to know that I’m finally getting to my point here – the same thing happened with the TV show Twin Peaks. I’ve mentioned before that I adore this show, and have done since it first aired in the UK during my college years, when m’colleague and I used to follow it. I think it’s a terrific show (though not without its flaws, by any means) to this day, and I genuinely feel one could make a pretty strong argument that it paved the way for a lot of solid US Drama that’s followed it, particularly on the non-cable channels; I think it’s hard to imagine The X-Files or The West Wing having been made without TP having proven that there was an audience for a drama with strong serial elements, particularly in an era when video allowed for repeated viewing or catch-up.

Anyway, when Twin Peaks started, it proved an enormously successful show, but during the second series, ratings in the USA fell off quite dramatically, and the network put it on hiatus, six episodes short of completing the series. A letter-writing campaign ensued, which was successful, and Twin Peaks returned for six more episodes, completing its second (and, even I would freely admit, very patchy) series. And then, having lived a surprisingly long time following the last rites of having been put on hiatus, it was announced that Twin Peaks, as a TV series, was finished (though a prequel film was released a year or so later).

In the UK, we were unaware of the hiatus, as the show was broadcast on BBC2 (on Tuesday nights at 9pm, I seem to recall, with late-night repeats on Saturday on the same channel), several months after the episodes had been shown in the USA. In the USA, though, the episode which aired post-hiatus (which is to say, the first of the final six episodes made) was being shown after a lengthy-ish gap in the series, and understandably, the network was concerned that, in order to try and keep or build their audience, they would need some kind of recap.

So, a brief rundown of the events so far was put at the front of episode 24. In the UK, there was only the usual week between episodes, so no lengthy ‘Previously On Twin Peaks’ intro, with a new voiceover from the lead character, was shown. Which means that there was 2’34” of Twin Peaks footage which wasn’t ever shown on UK TV (and no, I’m not going to get into the whole issue of the European Ending versus the Pilot Episode ending, or the editing of Truman’s fight with Jones, here; one day I’ll probably get round to writing a whole slew of posts about TP and what I love about it, and what makes me shake my head indulgently, but not today).

That lengthy parenthesis rather spoiled my intention with that sentence, so let’s pretend I didn’t splice a bunch of bracketed words into that paragraph, and go again: Which means that there was 2’34” of Twin Peaks footage which wasn’t ever shown on UK TV … but it’s now available to view here.

A long and rambling semi-essay to introduce a link there, I know… and now, as I click ‘POST’, I cross the fingers of my non-mouse hand and hope that, to make the above worth it, the link to the clip actually works…

My Interest Lies In Cycle Paths, Not Psychopaths

By John

On 08/01/2009

In London, Personal, Uncategorized

For those of you who aren’t so keen on my writing-related posts, you’ll be pleased to know this is on a different topic, and instead of holding forth with my usual arrogance and self-confidence, I’m asking a couple of questions…

Regular (that is, ‘long-suffering’) readers – or those of you who’ve read my profile – may recall that I like to do a bit of running, but this year I’m looking to add to that, whilst simultaneously diminishing my waistline, by having a go at a Duathlon. I know a Triathlon’s the more famous event (and it seems the London Triathlon is pretty famous internationally), but until I’ve done something about the measurement around my equator, I don’t think that humanity should be subject to the sight of me in a wetsuit. So, it’s running plus cycling in 2009.

It’s the addition of cycling which is the unknown and uncertain area for me, though, as I haven’t been the owner of a bike for at least a decade, and I’m pretty certain that technology will have advanced quite a bit bike-wise in that period. So, if any of you can advise me on the type or model I should be looking into, I’d be really grateful. Whatever model I buy needs to be as light as possible, but also sturdy, as the duathlon involves run-cycle-run, and so the bike’ll be chucked about a fair bit (especially when I dump it and get back to the second bout of running). And if I can use it for everyday, non-sport purposes, that’d be good too (though I have some sizable reservations about cycling in London, as you might imagine).

Anyway, if you can recommend a suitable model or a firm who might be able to help me sort myself out with some wheels, I’d appreciate it – and if any of you have done a Triathlon or Duathlon and want to try to dissuade me from doing one, or to give advice on how to do so and not end up knackered or dead*, please leave a comment or e-mail me at twowheelsgood[at]johnsoanes.co.uk.

Oop, almost forgot – in terms of size and cost, I need something that’ll be all right for my moderately lengthy legs (about 35″), and which costs less than £fourdigits – and it has to be available in black.

Any pointers gratefully received – thanks!

*If I wind up dead as a result of some silly physicality such as a duathlon or climbing a mountain, I think it’s fair to say, m’wife will kill me.

BBC Writersroom – Coming To A Town Near Me!

By John

On 07/01/2009

In Link, London, Uncategorized, Writing

… which is my typically inane way of saying that the BBC Writersroom are holding one of their Roadshows in London.

It’s next week – Thursday 15 January, from 5:30pm to 7pm, and it’s at the Royal Court Theatre, Sloane Square. As with all the swankiest of events, your name has to be on the guest list, which means e-mailing your name, with the subject heading “London Roadshow” to writersroom.events@bbc.co.uk.

That pretty much covers it, but full details are available here.

I don’t intend to hand any of my work in to the BBC folks in person at the event (as it’s possible to do), but I’ve applied to attend – anyone else going? Let me know if you are, it’d be good to say hello to some fellow scribblers (or, as the case may be, typers).

No, It’s Not Paypal – This Is Something That Could Help You Earn Money (Though It’s Probably Pronounced Much The Same)

By John

On 06/01/2009

In Link, Uncategorized, Writing

I’ve written before about my love of notebooks, and how insanely useful they can be when writing, but even I would admit there are some occasions when pen and paper aren’t quite the right tool for the job.

One such time, I find, is when I’m trying to do something ‘bigger than writing notes’ – by which I mean trying to create a representation of character relationships, a timeline, a structure plan, breaking a story, creating a ‘beat sheet’, or what have you; the sort of times I need to be able to move my notes around as if they’re tiles on a Scrabble board.

The professional way to do this is, of course, to use a wipeboard, or a big noticeboard and post-it notes or postcards, but that’s not always possible when you’re not at home or you’re on a train or something like that.

To this end, I’ve recently been making pretty productive use of Papel, a free bit of software which allows you, to some extent, to create little notes to yourself, and save them all as part of a bigger ‘project’ file. I’ve so far used it as a repository for a bundle of notes on a novel and a TV feature, both of which I’m still shaping up, and it felt useful to get the various disparate scribbles in one place on the laptop. If nothing else, getting it all on the screen at one time showed me how much material I currently have, and whether I’m lacking beats in the second act or whatever.

Anyway, I’ve only been tinkering with it for a couple of days, but I’ve found it quite useful – if nothing else, it means that the various scribbled notes I’ve made to myself are rendered legible, which can only count as progress. As I say, it’s free to download (though I’m not sure if non-Windows users will be able to run it), and whilst I’m not going to pretend it’ll revolutionise your writing methods, it might be worth a look, to see if you find it useful.