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BBC Writersroom – Coming To A Town Near Me!

… which is my typically inane way of saying that the BBC Writersroom are holding one of their Roadshows in London.

It’s next week – Thursday 15 January, from 5:30pm to 7pm, and it’s at the Royal Court Theatre, Sloane Square. As with all the swankiest of events, your name has to be on the guest list, which means e-mailing your name, with the subject heading “London Roadshow” to writersroom.events@bbc.co.uk.

That pretty much covers it, but full details are available here.

I don’t intend to hand any of my work in to the BBC folks in person at the event (as it’s possible to do), but I’ve applied to attend – anyone else going? Let me know if you are, it’d be good to say hello to some fellow scribblers (or, as the case may be, typers).

No, It’s Not Paypal – This Is Something That Could Help You Earn Money (Though It’s Probably Pronounced Much The Same)

I’ve written before about my love of notebooks, and how insanely useful they can be when writing, but even I would admit there are some occasions when pen and paper aren’t quite the right tool for the job.

One such time, I find, is when I’m trying to do something ‘bigger than writing notes’ – by which I mean trying to create a representation of character relationships, a timeline, a structure plan, breaking a story, creating a ‘beat sheet’, or what have you; the sort of times I need to be able to move my notes around as if they’re tiles on a Scrabble board.

The professional way to do this is, of course, to use a wipeboard, or a big noticeboard and post-it notes or postcards, but that’s not always possible when you’re not at home or you’re on a train or something like that.

To this end, I’ve recently been making pretty productive use of Papel, a free bit of software which allows you, to some extent, to create little notes to yourself, and save them all as part of a bigger ‘project’ file. I’ve so far used it as a repository for a bundle of notes on a novel and a TV feature, both of which I’m still shaping up, and it felt useful to get the various disparate scribbles in one place on the laptop. If nothing else, getting it all on the screen at one time showed me how much material I currently have, and whether I’m lacking beats in the second act or whatever.

Anyway, I’ve only been tinkering with it for a couple of days, but I’ve found it quite useful – if nothing else, it means that the various scribbled notes I’ve made to myself are rendered legible, which can only count as progress. As I say, it’s free to download (though I’m not sure if non-Windows users will be able to run it), and whilst I’m not going to pretend it’ll revolutionise your writing methods, it might be worth a look, to see if you find it useful.

To Semi-Paraphrase Goldfinger: Two Writers Saying It Could Be Chalked Up To Coincidence, But Three? One Should Perhaps Pay Attention.

In chronological order, three quotes from writers of note which I’ve recently come across:

“The artist should never try to be popular. Rather the public should be more artistic.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Don’t give people what they want, give them what they need. What they want is for Sam and Diane to get together. Don’t give it to them.”
– Joss Whedon

“Creating something is not a democracy. The people have no say. The artist does. It doesn’t matter what the people witter on about; they and their response come after. They’re not there for the creation.”
– Russell T Davies

Is the underlying theme there, I wonder, the mandate from my betters I need to become even more of a puffed-up self-confident fool? Let’s hope not, or I’ll become even more unbearable.

Still, something to think about there, perhaps…

New Who?

Who knew?

I wasn’t guessing, but did any of you make money by wagering on this?

And The Unsurprising Moral Of The Story Is : You Actually Have To Care About The Story And Characters

Browsing through my new-ish copy of Writer’s Market the other day (no, I really was), I noticed that Mills and Boon publish 600 of their romance-oriented titles every year. That, a quick calculation reveals, is about 12 books every week – which kind of surprised me; I knew they published a lot of books, but almost two a day? Crikey.

Anyway, I idly started thinking about submitting something to them, and wondering if any of the stories knocking around the attic of my mind might be dusted off and polished to a Mills and Boon-y shine. Of course, in the way the universe has of making events converge, last night on BBC4 there was a programme called How To Write A Mills and Boon – the BBC iPlayer link is here.

It’s worth a watch – regardless of whether you’re thinking of sending stuff to them – as the novelist Stella Duffy has a go at writing a book for them, and despite having had about a dozen novels published, she finds that it’s not actually as easy as you might think; like writing for comics or soap operas, it shouldn’t be looked on as something that’s easy or somehow beneath one’s dignity. Writing within any confines is, after all, a challenge.

I Really Thought I Was Paying For Nudity

Intending to start this year feeling like I was actually steering the ship rather than being thrown about by events, I just had a look at my bank details online, to make sure I have some kind of idea how much or how little money is in my account.

And then I spotted what looked like an odd transaction – a direct debit against my account with the reference “NUD COLLECTIONS AC”.

Nude collections? I don’t remember having made any kind of payment like that… and then I realised it was actually an insurance payment to Norwich Union.

No wonder they’re changing their name

I Guess The Opposite of Update Would Be Downtime

Over the last couple of weeks, a number of people I know have started using Twitter.

If you’re not familiar with it, it’s arguably best described as a ‘microblogging’ site, where people post updates in very brief terms – about the length of a text message (which I think is probably how much of the updating is done), akin to the personal status thing in (hack, spit) Facebook.

Messrs Peel and Colgan are using it, though I doubt I’ll be joining in – as regular readers will have realised by now, the idea of me being able to express things in the bare minimum of characters is extremely unlikely.

Still, when it comes to twittering, I think we’d all have to agree that this chap may well be the current champion. Cripes.

I Don’t Mean To Be Rude, But: I Once Saw A Man Openly Reading A Hardcore Pornographic Magazine On The District Line. Clearly, This Is Far Worse

On the tube on the way home from finishing off my Christmas shopping the other night, I noticed that the woman sitting next to me was reading a book – which is perfectly reasonable – but strangely, she was keeping it inside her bag as she did so… as you can see from the craftily taken picture here.

Having seen a man reading an adult art pamphlet (as referred to in the title of this post) on the tube before, and also a woman reading a ‘ladies erotica novel’ about bondage and spanking without any such sense of subterfuge, I was keen and eager to know what it was that she was trying to read without letting anyone know what it was.

She turned a page, I peered at the title at the top of it, and it turned out to be this.

Shocking, I think you’ll agree.

(If nothing else, I expect the racy words used in this post to help bring in new readers via Google search.)

From Hull

Once again, the good people from the BBC Writersroom are holding a roadshow – this time in Hull on Wednesday 7 January 2009.

As with all the finest gatherings, you need to be on the list to get in, but it’s free to attend – full details of the how, when and where can be found here.

And, though no details are given, a roadshow session in London is promised for 2009. I’m very unlikely to attend the Hull event, but London… well, that’s my manor, innit?

As I Know He Reads The Blog, I’d Like To Acknowledge That My Brother – Though He’s Not Imaginary Like Donald Kaufman – Also Does His Job Jolly Well

There’s a poll currently running on the Writers’ Guild Blog : “Do you believe in writers’ block?”

The two answers given are ‘Yes, it’s all too real’, and ‘No, it’s just an excuse to procrastinate’, and if you want to, I think you can still vote, so if you feel strongly either way and want to make your opinion known, follow the above link and click away.

I’ve been mulling it over a bit, partly because of the question asked by the WGGB, partly because of this post by Andrew ‘They Call Me Mister’ Tibbs, though mainly because I’ve recently rewatched Adaptation, a good film which is certainly worth seeing (if you haven’t already done so).

As you may well know, the film tells the story of screenwriter Charlie Kaufman’s struggle to adapt the book The Orchid Thief by Susan Orlean into a screenplay, and interweaves the tale of the book itself with his writing struggles (with something that certainly looks like writer’s block), to the point where the film is ultimately more about that than the content of Orlean’s book (though that just be me preferring the tale of the storyteller than the flora-seller). In the film, Kaufman stares hopelessly at the blank page in his typewriter, wrestling with both problems of story and his own self-worth (made all the more prominent by comparison with his [imaginary] twin Donald, who has enormous success with his own more obviously populist script).

It reminded me rather of the post on Andrew’s blog, which refers to the recent Charlie Brooker programme, wherein a number of writers talked about the importance of actually getting down to writing – Tony Jordan puts it most straightforwardly when he says ‘A writer writes – the clue is in the name’ – and quite a few of them talked about how they’d write without necessarily knowing where they were going with the story. Andrew wrote about how the opposite of this can be to want to plot everything down to the smallest detail, and how that can lead to constant procrastination from the act of getting words down on the page – which is part of Kaufman’s problem in Adaptation.

I’m inconsistent in whether I plan things like mad or just dive into a story (though I invariably like to have an end in mind, lest I should go on writing for ever), although one thing I’ve realised is that it’s better if I keep my story ideas to myself; not for fear of plagiarism, but for the more mundane reason that if I get all giddy and intoxicated with the tale and end up blurting it out (usually in a half-baked form), that tends to dilute the need to write it down because – even on that pathetic level – part of me feels I’ve told the story. God only knows how I reconcile that with pitching and query letters, but I tend to make sure my first draft is finished before I get to that stage.

Anyway, I don’t really have an opinion as to whether Writers’ Block is real, though in a strange way I suspect that’s because I’ve rarely been in a position where my failure to words on paper has been like a kick to my sense of identity. I’ve only occasionally been called upon to write under that kind of pressure (well, outside of work, where the stuff I write about is usually non-fiction, though some might disagree). If I was a paid writer, I can well see that finding the well of inspiration had run dry would be akin to a bout of mental impotence – you want to do it, you know you can do it, but the more you think about it, the less likely it is to happen.

I wish I was more advanced in my writing career than I actually am – and I’m well aware that I’m the only one, ultimately, who can do anything about that – but in a way it does mean that the pressure is lower; by analogy, if I can’t be bothered to go out for a run (as has been the case more often than not since the clocks went back, and I have the waistline to prove it), I don’t have a coach or team who I’m letting down, and who’ll shout at me if I jeopardise my personal advancement, but if you’re a writer by trade, there are a lot of people who you could feel you’re letting down (as well as yourself). I can see why it could be a more pernicious situation if you feel you just can’t find it within you to write (or indeed run), so I wouldn’t want to say it’s not real just because I (fortunately) haven’t experienced it.

The main thing that keeps me from writing as much as I should, or should like to, is the tiresome and predictable issue of, you guessed it, time; again, I’m aware that I could squeeze in more writing and less loafing, and so for me at present this is a bigger challenge than Writers’ Block, though of course that may change in the future.

So, in summary, my concerns: Writers’ Block? Not yet. Writer’s Clock? You bet.

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