Category: Fish In A Barrel Page 6 of 23

To Punish My Sanctimony, There’s Probably A Typo Somewhere In This Post…

Remember, if you’re going to protest about something – hell, if you’re going to say anything at all – you’ll make your point far more effectively if people don’t need to spend time decoding what you’re driving at.

Proof can be found, in appalling abundance, here.

I Often Feel It’s Important To Be Able To Express Opinions On Books I Haven’t Read, Especially Those Which I Deliberately Haven’t Read

Over at her always-fun blog, Marie Phillips has been talking about the imminent release of The Mistress by Martine McCutcheon, and what it may say about the publishing industry.

I think she makes some very valid points, and having read the first chapter which is available here, I was oddly put in mind of American Psycho‘s incessant name-checking. And faintly appalled to see the ‘having them look in the mirror to justify describing the protagonist’ trick making its appearance in the sixth paragraph, but that’s probably just me being jaded and cynical; the book’s aimed at a very specific market, and I’m not that market. So be it, there are enough books on my ‘to be read’ shelves already.

But before I shrug my shoulders and move on, two things which came to mind:

Point the first: in the first eight paragraphs of Chapter One, there are two references to Grazia magazine. This strikes me as odd, given that Martine McCutcheon is a columnist for Reveal magazine.

Point the second: the book details given at the foot of this page state that the book will measure 197mm x 130mm, and be comprised of 336 pages, and yet weigh 0 kg. The very definition of a “light read”, I guess.

My immediate suspicion was that this book may well have been ghost-written (though I could be wrong), and the notion of a ghost-written book by a celebrity reminds me of the novel with Naomi Campbell’s name on the cover, Swan (there seems to be a substantial body of evidence to suggest I shouldn’t refer to the novel with as ‘belonging to’ Ms Campbell).

At the time of its publication, I seem to recall reading an amusing – and very probably apocryphal – tale about a journalist pressing her about the authorship of the book; after a while, Ms Campbell was tiring of being hassled in this way.

“Look,” she allegedly said, “have you read my book?”
“No,” the journalist reportedly answered. “Have you?”

You Never Got This Kind Of Thing With Delia Smith. Well, Apart From That Time She Endorsed ‘Cranberries’, But That’s An Obscure Bit Of Slang At Best

As referred to in a post some time ago, the search-engine baiting Nigella Lawson Topless Milk Jugs have probably enticed in Google-using admirers who were hoping for something rather saucy.

However, I feel that fans of TV Chef James Martin are likely to be disappointed by the name of an item in his cookware range – specifically, this one.

Still, I think we all appreciate his candour.

Unlikely Legal Entities

I’d like to have been at Companies House the day the incorporation paperwork for these arrived.

It Seems That Those Who Do Not Learn About Musical History Are Condemned To Write About It

As you may have seen in the press- usually illustrated by pictures of the new line-up in tight-fitting pseudo-undergarment outfits – the last remaining original member of the popular beat trio the ‘Sugababes’ (whose name always looks to me like a pretty direct attempt to copy that of the Spice Girls), has *ahem* departed the group.

As a result, there have been a number of journalists and other folks commenting about whether or not this means the Sugababes as a band still exists; Trigger’s broom and Theseus’s Ship have been invoked, on the basis that since none of the original band remains, surely they cannot be called the Sugababes?

Oh, the philosophical conundrum, how it makes our heads spin (accompanied by pictures of three women in limited clothing)… but there is a precedent for this, and I can’t help but wondering if people know about it, and are ignoring it in favour of filling column inches with photos of the new line-up filming their “raunchy* new video”, or if they are unaware of it, despite it spanning over three decades?

Anyway, no, I’m not going to refer to the tangled history of Bucks Fizz, I’m talking about a much longer-lived band than that, whose members come and go with the frequency of Big Brother contestants.

Here on the blog, for one night only (with this line-up, if history is anything to go by), I give you… Menudo.

*A word which tends to be used in print more than it is said aloud … unless perhaps someone’s mum is referring to Tom Jones or Chico Slimani.

The Hottest Look This Season? Francis Dolarhyde Meets Patrick Bateman, Apparently

The eminent philsopher David St. Hubbins once noted that there’s “a fine line between stupid and clever”.

GQ Style, I would politely suggest, are so far into the zone marked stupid they’d need a pair of 20×50 binoculars in order to see the hint of a suggestion of the line, just vaguely on the edge of visibility.

Are You Lonesome Tonight?

Ladies, how can you be lonely when men like these chaps are there for the taking?

Assuming you have the means to travel back to the 1980s, that is.

Ah, Ignore Me – I’m Just Crabby Because My iPod’s No Longer Top Of The Range

This week’s big technology news : the Apple iPod Nano now has video filming facilities and can play the radio as well as music files.

So then, just like most mid-range mobile phones. But without the facility to make phone calls.

Today’s post was bought to you by Fish In A Barrel PLC. Making cheap digs, for you and your family, since 1971.

“I’m At Your Home Right Now… Nicking Stuff From Your Design Portfolio”

Todays’s advice to would-be swipers: don’t nick both the imagery and the words from someone else’s work, or overgrown adolescents on the internet will poke fun at you.

He Only Went In The Ground This Week, For Goodness’ Sake!

That didn’t take very long, did it?

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