Unlike the plot-device unisex toilets of Ally McBeal, many places have toilet facilities which are divided along gender lines. As a result of this, my legions of female readers may not be aware that, for whatever reason, quite a few men spit whilst peeing into a urinal.

Not me, I hasten to add, and it mystifies me, as they usually lean forwards whilst urinating as if carefully aiming the saliva at the jet of urine. Are they contemptuous of their urine, and want to spit on it in disdain ? Or do they loathe the spit they’ve been carrying in their mouth up until this point so much they not only want to get it out of their mouth, and to immediately flush it away with urine as a symbol of how much they hate it ? I really don’t know.

It’s very odd, and it seems to be on the increase. As if standing next to another man urinating isn’t fundamentally an odd enough situation, you’re now quite likely to suddenly see them lean forward, as if trying to peer at their genitals whilst peeing, and then slowly let a bolus of spit drip from their mouth down into the whirlpool of widdle. Far from fun to be stood next to, and I can’t imagine it’s enormously enjoyable to do. Colour me puzzled.

And I won’t get into the issue of those who, when they’re done, are walkers and not washers… except to say that I’ve observed an inverse correlation between the position of a man in an organisation and the likelihood of him washing his hands after he’s finished using the toilet. Which is something to always bear in mind when you’re shaking hands with an MD or department head.