Author: John Page 30 of 121

New BBC Roadshow Date – And Why One Shouldn’t Send Messages In Anger

On 14/07/2009

In BBC, Link, TV, Uncategorized, Writing

In case you hadn’t seen the post by Piers on the BBC Writersroom site, there’s a new Writersroom roadshow being held – this time in Birmingham, on the evening of Tuesday 18 August. Full details can be read here – if you live in Brum (or close by), you might want to see about going along.

Speaking of writing and using the internet, what’s all this about people hassling writer James Moran online because they don’t like the way the story went in Torchwood? It seems he’s being accused of a homophobic element to the story, which seems a little odd when you consider it was co-plotted with Russell T Davies… but frankly that’s by the by; James has been very open and forthcoming in his online presence, and very enthusiastic about writing generally, and now it seems that people having a go at him is likely to cause him to withdraw somewhat, which I think is a shame.

I mean, I’ve seen TV shows where I haven’t liked the direction the story’s taken, but sending Twitter messages and the like to the writer (or one of them) is obviously excessive, and it’s pretty clear from James’s reaction that he found a lot of them rather insulting.

That’s going too far, and is a desperate waste of the potential for communication offered by developments such as the internet. I’m reminded of the people whose online hectoring led to the cancellation of a writing competition in future years back in 2007; remember, just because you have the means to tell someone (or indeed everyone) your current emotional or mental state, it doesn’t necessarily mean you should.

Oh, And It Features Music From Black Lace. I Kid You Not.

By John

On 13/07/2009

In BBC, Film, Link, TV, Uncategorized

I know that the TV excitement in the last week has mainly focussed on Torchwood, but I haven’t seen that yet (planning to watch it all in one big chunk), so I can’t comment.

However, one TV show in the past few days which I found rather exciting was the fourth episode of Psychoville, written by and starring two of the League of Gentlemen, and lo and behold this episode features a guest appearance by the other onscreen member (so, not Jeremy Dyson).

If you’ve ever seen the Hitchcock film Rope and marvelled at the long sequences between cuts, then this episode will impress you in the same way; from what I could see, there’s only one cut, at about the 20 minute slot, which is something you really don’t see very often in TV. The episode is very much like Rope in structure and content too, and is quite clearly a homage – in the proper sense of that word, not the cut-and-paste-swipe sense all too often used nowadays. That said, I reckon you could probably watch this episode without having watched those before it.

But John, you may be asking, how can I watch it now? The wonders of the BBC iPlayer, I say in reply, and point you to this link, which should enable you to watch the episode on your computer. Wonderful what they can do nowadays.

I have to say, I think Psychoville is a very solid show so far – the central mystery of it is unravelling well, and the cast of characters are suitably horrifying and/or funny (often both at once). Worth looking at the whole series so far if you’re not already following it, I’d say.

Neither Like David In Appearance Nor Able To Create David

By John

On 12/07/2009

In Personal, Pictures, Uncategorized

As the week draws to its end, I just wanted to share with you, my lovely readers, one important lesson which I’ve learned in the last few days:

Unless you actually are a sculptor, or have a hand as steady as a professional stonemason, do not attempt to remove ice from a freezer compartment with a screwdriver and hammer.

Yes, I am an idiot. Still, the new fridge-freezer looks good in the kitchen.

Shouldn’t They Be On A Coach Trip To Gloucester Or Something?

By John

On 11/07/2009

In Fish In A Barrel, Music, Pictures, Uncategorized

When did it become cool for popular music artistes to be named like my grandmother and her friends?

I only hope they don’t smell of Parma Violets and carry their handbags everywhere.

The Results Are In

By John

On 10/07/2009

In Link, Pictures, TV, Uncategorized, Writing

So, I didn’t make it to the next round of the CBBC Competition. Ah well.

I did, however, get a friendly e-mail from the BBC Writersroom, saying that my script had made it through to the second reading stage, and encouraging me to send stuff to them in future, which was nice.

And, of course, it was good to find out either way, on the appointed day. Well played, BBC, I say.

But enough of me; you’re a bunch of talented sods out there, surely at least one of you has been asked to go along to the masterclass? C’mon, share the good news, that’s what the Comment function is for…

On Showgirls, And Marcus Aurelius, And How They Are Connected

By John

On 09/07/2009

In Film, Link, Personal, Pictures, TV, Uncategorized, Writing

I referred to the Monty Python Spanish Inquisition Sketch the other day (in this post), and that led me to think about its appearance in the film Sliding Doors. Hey, that’s how my mind works.

For those of you who haven’t seen this film (and I’ve only seen it once, at the time of its cinema release), John Hannah recites lines from the Spanish Inquisition sketch to a table of hysterically impressed friends, including Gwyneth Paltrow – in fact, his Python performance kind of forms part of his wooing of her character in the film. The people around the table are laughing a lot at this bit in the film, including women, which didn’t ring true for me, as I was the kind of spotty indoorsy teenager who’d learn Monty Python sketches off by heart, and as much as women like a laugh and like comedy, very few of them are particularly keen to hear you recite other people’s comedy material. Especially a sketch as reliant on visual aspects and incidental music as that one.

Anyway, as an aspect of the film in which we’re supposed to think Hannah’s character’s funny or likeable, it didn’t work for me. In a similar way, I once found myself watching Showgirls to see if it was as bad as it was said to be (it was), and about twenty minutes in (I think – it was just before the first ad break, and I switched it off then) there was a big song and dance number. The main character, played by Elizabeth Berkeley, watches this show on stage, and is utterly captivated by it. I, on the other hand, thought it was a pretty risible sequence featuring semi-naked people cavorting amidst model volcanoes.

I turned off the TV at this point, as it seemed pretty clear that the main character was going to be inspired to want to do this kind of dancing, and I would find myself laughing at it, and that would just be mean. Well, if I’m honest, I wouldn’t have minded a laugh, but as I was sharing a house at the time, I didn’t want anyone to come into the lounge and think I was watching it for the nipples instead of the giggles.

Hmm, those last three paragraphs make it sound as if I’m just having a go at other people to make my point (and I do have one), so let me share a similar confession about my own writing; some years ago, I wrote a novel (unpublished, and with hindsight that’s probably fair) called Fall From Grace. It was essentially a re-telling of the fall of Lucifer, set within a modern-day Evangelical Broadcasting Network – members of staff rebel against the existing regime, get kicked out, seek to take revenge, that sort of thing.

However, in order to make the rebels into underdogs, I needed the evangelical TV station to be successful, and try as I might I just couldn’t write the details of the broadcasts in a way that made this seem likely. Mainly because deep down I couldn’t see a way that, in modern-day England, such a venture would have enormous success – and as a result, the story pretty much asked the reader to take it on trust that, no, really, I promise you, it was very popular. Unfortunately, that creates a situation rather like this:

Reader: These religious broadcasts don’t strike me as that awe-inspiring.
Me: Well, they are. Trust me.
Reader: They wouldn’t convert me.
Me: Well, the people in the book are quite taken with them.
Reader: I don’t know why.
Me: Look, they’re really impressed. Take my word for it.
Reader: I suppose I have to, for the story to make sense.
Me: Yes, you do.
Reader: Hmph.

It doesn’t really matter if a story contains a minor element that doesn’t quite ring true, but if it’s a plot element or a catalyst or a personality trait which actually affects the direction of the story, there’s a more fundamental problem; like watching one of those fight scenes in films where the cuts are just so insanely fast that you can’t tell what’s going on until one person’s left standing and the others are on the ground, you end up just having to accept that it’s happened, even if you don’t know how or why, but of course it introduces a seed of disbelief into your mind, and much of the time stories require that disbelief, like the Brooklyn Bridge, to be well and truly suspended.

Otherwise, you end up just having to take other characters’ word for it; John Hannah’s character is funny, the show in Showgirls really is impressive, and in my personal example, millions of people do tune in every week to watch a religious TV show… and if you don’t believe what the story wants you to believe, or feel the reaction that you’re apparently expected to feel, you’ll be jerked right out of the experience of the story, and that’s never a good thing.

Looking at how this should be done, I watched the first episode of The West Wing again yesterday, and – possible spoilers ahoy – we don’t get to meet the President himself until very near the end of the episode. Instead of the viewer being told for the best part of an hour that he’s quick-witted, supportive of his staff, and articulate, we’re shown it – President Bartlet demonstrates this in a couple of minutes, and at the end of the scene (indeed the episode) you can see why his staff are so loyal to him. That, as Mr Punch would say, is the way to do it.

The Roman Emperor and philosopher Marcus Aurelius once said “Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one”, and I think the same applies to aspects of plot or character as detailed above. Is a character meant to be funny? Show them being funny, not other people telling them they’re funny. Is something in a story meant to be amazing or startling, and send people’s lives in a new direction? Then the story needs to show it being amazing or startling.

In his (very good) screenwriting book Save The Cat, Blake Snyder stresses the importance of making the reader/viewer care about the main character as early as possible by having them do something funny, likable or heroic in the early scenes – by having them, as it were, ‘save the cat’ on page one, and I think he’s spot-on about this.

As is so often the case, I won’t pretend that I’m making a devastating insight about a requirement of writing here; however, I was quite pleased when all the above churned around inside my head, and I finally realised that all of the examples which sprang to my mind all point to one fundamental principle of writing: Show, Don’t Tell.

It’s The Question That Keeps Bookbinders Awake At Night…

By John

On 08/07/2009

In Books, Pictures, Stray Thoughts, Uncategorized

… which seven-volume fantasy series which began with a fairly slim first volume got more and more lengthy as the end drew nigh: Jo Rowling’s Harry Potter or Stephen King’s Dark Tower?

Let’s find out! Potter’s in Blue, the Tower is Purple…

So – perhaps appropriately enough – the Tower has the highest numbers.

Here’s a thought: how different would the current state of Bloomsbury publishers be if the Potter books had each been 324 pages long, and the series had run to ten books ?

I know that books, unlike many media, can be as long as they need to be to get the story told, but I’ll wager that somewhere, a publishers’ accountant has asked exactly the same question, though they probably followed it with a sigh, and then returned to crunching numbers.

I Really Wish I Could Explain Why I Find This So Amusing, But… Well, See For Yourself

By John

On 07/07/2009

In Pictures, TV, Uncategorized, Writing

(Found in a number of places on the internet.)

Well, it makes me laugh.

And that’s why I shared it – because if there’s one thing this blog is all about, it’s spreading laughter and joy and love and peace and tea and biscuits. Oh, and it’s about writing. But that’s still one thing, if we use the Inquisitional numbering system.

Speaking of matters writerly, it seems that the CBBC Competition had over 700 entries. Crikey.

Still, I’m keeping my fingers crossed… though if I do get through, I won’t hurry to claim it’s a case of the cream rising to the top – after all, the scum also rises, as Hemingway nearly put it.

Still, we’ll see how things go, and of course if I get invited to the next stage (a workshop), I’ll be sure to talk about it in the usual self-hyping fashion here on the blog. Because if there’s one thing this blog is about, it’s… ah, you guessed it.

I’m Glad They Spelled ‘Professional’ Correctly – This Is Not A Subject Which Benefits From Bringing Professionalism Into Doubt

By John

On 06/07/2009

In London, Personal, Pictures, Uncategorized

Like many people with a letterbox, I’ve become accustomed to coming home to find myself dazzled by a shining sea of glossy junk mail – pizza menus, flyers for estate agents and repair firms, and party political newsletters and the like.

I’ve become kind of jaded to it really, so my immediate reaction is to ignore the stuff – the exact opposite of the hoped-for result, I’m sure – and it takes something quite startling to make me actually pay attention to unsolicited mail.

Which is why the flyer which you can see here (scanned in from the original, hence the scuffmark across the middle from my shoe) caught my attention when it arrived. I’m well aware that there’s a market for this service, but … well, I’d kind of hope that people would do a bit of research beyond waiting for a leaflet on the subject to come through the door.

Even If Karl Marx Does Look Rather Like An Unshaven Timothy West

By John

On 05/07/2009

In London, Pictures, TV, Uncategorized

Despite having lived in London for over a decade, yesterday was the first time I’ve ever been to Highgate Cemetery.

As the chap at the gate said, the main draw for many visitors is the tomb of Karl Marx:
But there are many other graves to see, and it’s a quiet and somehow relaxing atmosphere – well worth a look if you have the time and are in North London.

Though I have to admit that several times in the visit I heard David Tennant’s voice in my head…

“Whatever you do, do not blink!”