Fragrances, like many other items, often have to sell themselves on the implied suggestion that they’ll make you more sexy.

However, some items I’ve seen recently seem to have forgotten that the sexual undercurrent, like the scent itself, is probably more effective when it’s subtle and yet somehow discernable.

You’re probably wondering: What the jiggins is Soanes on about now? Where’s his evidence? Well…

Say the name of this one out loud:

That’s not a fragrance, that’s a blatant sexual offer, surely.

And speaking of blatant –

– come on, that can’t be accidental. He wants to be careful not to catch himself on that ring, though.

If this post has offended you, please bear in mind it’s the perfume makers who are to blame – they started it. And if the filth quotient of the above is lost on you… well, bless your innocence, it’s a rare and precious thing in a bitter and jaded world.