Well, despite the fact I’m getting married this year and am thus happily unavailable for propositioning, strangers are still sending me e-mails of a sexual nature. Here are some of the subject lines from e-mails that I’ve (genuinely) received today.

-Penis Enlargement Facts
-Sharon had never come before when we made love, but since I’ve become thicker and longer, she comes every night.
-Incredibly fast, unbelievable gains to your sch1ong in just weeks.
-Increase the length and power of the rod in your pants today.
-Do you want enlargge your p]enis? gcfdl
-Don’t be ashamed of having a small member, you can add inches today, easily.
-Scarlet Johansson loves Men with huge equipment – do you measure up?
-Tired of losing your erect1on halfway, or having a small weener? Change it today.
-Hot Rods get the chicks
-Make your girlfriend appreciate you more this Valentine’s Day
-Give the girls MAXIMUM satisfaction
-Studies have shown that 87% of girls aged 18-26 wish their men had larger pen15e5.
-Be the Stallion you’ve always wanted to be
-Give your girlfriend MORE this Valentine’s Day

One running theme does suggest that they might adore me as a person, but feel I’m lacking in some way… but still, it’s always nice to get post on Valentine’s Day, isn’t it?

Happy St Valentine’s / Commercially-Motivated Greetings Card Sales* Day to you all.

*Delete according to your personal degree of scepticism.