So in one line, here’s how David Cameron can guarantee he becomes next Prime Minister:

Don’t let Tory MPs say anything about expenses or pay, whether they think it’s on the record or off the record.

In fact, if he just gags them all and concentrates on the party’s key attribute of ‘not being Labour’, I reckon they could get in.

Mind you, Alan Duncan has a very good point when he says that being an MP or in Parliament “has been nationalised”. I guess it’s something to do with being – in theory anyway – a servant of the people, and having your salary paid as a result of citizens being taxed. That is still part of the job description, right?