Wedding Rubbishness: For Grooms And Guests

Bridegroom, but can’t be bothered to write a speech for your big day? Well, just download a Groom’s speech template from the internet! Some people might think that this, in itself, shows a lack of commitment to the day, but what do they know?

Guest, but not going to attend? Don’t let the people organising the wedding know too early – instead, do it the classy way, by waiting until a week or so before, and then sending a message over Facebook*! All the effectiveness of saying no, but with none of the messiness of having to actually communicate with human beings.

Oh, the fleshy humans, how we all loathe them.

*I don’t have a link for this one, but as you can probably guess, it’s just happened to me and my fiancee. Imagine how impressed we were.


Methinks The Hairy Men Do Protest Too Much (By Which I Mean ‘Frequently’)


An Easy Shot, Yes, But It’s A Silly Season Spacefiller


  1. Tsk. I hope it all went well for you and Jules.

    Oh, we weren’t the people on Facebook. Honest.

  2. It was a frankly epic day, thanks Steve – will be posting (no doubt at unnecessary length) about it in the next day or two.

    And may the record show that it wasn’t you and your good laydee who declined over Facebook – though we did have an even more ‘poor form’ no-show, which I’ll rant about anon…


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén