Newman’s Salad Dressings Were Just The Beginning…

Maybe it’s just me, but this feels wrong – a step too far.

What next? Jack Black brings out his own range of scotch eggs? Diane Lane’s pre-cooked tagines?

And hey, why restrict this stuff to food? Go on, knock yourself out!

Sylvester Stallone’s range of dungarees! Denzel Washington’s series of external hard drives! Scarlett Johansson’s range of CDs of Tom Waits covers!



When I Worked In A Bookshop, People Used To Ask For Recommendations. And Now, I Find Myself Doing The Same Sort Of Thing… Only I’m Asking You.


Probably Not A Result Of Feng Shui In The Workplace. At Least, I Hope Not.


  1. Do you mean Diane Lane ?

    Anyway, poor old Barry ! Since he left the Film programme, things have obviously got tough. After all what situation do you have to be in to consent to your image being used on the label of jars of pickled onions ? And why would we be any more likely to buy onions with Barry’s blessing ?

  2. Of course if the onions were all perfect miniature replicas of Barry’s head, now that would be different.

  3. You’re quite right, I meant Diane, but my typey fingers clearly had other ideas. I’ll fix it with an edit, and no-one will ever know.

    Well, except you, Mr Bond, but you will never live to tell. I shall tie you to this chair and tell you my entire plan. Nothing, I say nothing, can stop me now!
    …Oh dear, I think it’s happening again, isn’t it?

    Anyway, alarmingly, I saw those pickles advertised on a bus shelter ad hoarding. No, seriously.


  4. I suppose he has a mortgage like the rest of you (not me, snigger) but surely there must be a better way to pay it. How about oh I dunno, film criticism ?

  5. Seriously bizarre … I want some with my Chris Kelly Clapperboard Cheddar and my Jonathan Ross Cwackers.

  6. Of course, they’d be Cweam cwackers …

  7. I like the idea of Barry’s pickles on Ross’s cwackers, as a kind of Film-review-host-themed snack. With some Harvey Keitel Chips as a related garnish on the plate.

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