Transcript Of Phonetap Recording Made in 2006 Under The US Patriot Act

[Telephone connection is made]

Australian National Eric Bana: Hello?

Unknown voice: Eric, baby. It’s your agent here. How are ya?

Bana: I’m fine, thanks. What’s new? Got anything good for me?

Unknown: Well, just got a new script in this morning, but I don’t think it’s quite right, really.

Bana: Not quite right? Why?

Unknown: I’ll send it over, but it’s a historical drama – and after Troy, I didn’t think you’d be into that.

Bana: Hmm, you might be right. Still, what’s it about?

Unknown: That English King, Henry the Eighth.

Bana: What, the chubby King? That’s not very flattering, is it?

Unknown: No, but I think they’re trying to move away from the stereotype.

Bana: I guess so – like Colin Farrell having highlights when he played Alexander the Great.

Unknown: Something like that, yes.

Bana: Anyway, so I’d be playing Henry the Eighth?

Unknown: That’s the offer.

Bana: Who’s the director?

Unknown: Justin Chadwick.

Bana: I’ve never heard of him.

Unknown: No, you wouldn’t have, it’s his first movie.

Bana: Oh, right. What about the screenwriter?

Unknown: It’s Peter Morgan. He wrote that film about the Queen the other year.

Bana: That was nominated for an Oscar, wasn’t it? Hmm, that’s a bit more promising. What’s the basic premise?

Unknown: You play Henry, and the two Boleyn sisters fight over you. I’ll be honest, Eric, I think you’re the last major character to be cast, and the money might not be too good.

Bana: Okay, I understand. So who’s attached to it already? Who are the women who’ll be fighting over me?

Unknown: Hold on a second, I’ll just checkā€¦ yes, here we are. Natalie Portman plays Anne Boleyn, and Scarlett Johansson plays her sister Mary.

Bana: And there are love scenes with both of them?

Unknown: In the script I’ve got here, yes.

Bana: Tell them I’ll do it for ten dollars.

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2 Comments

  1. Or should we just substitute the name ‘Bana’ for ‘John’ ?

  2. I suspect Peter ‘Spooks’ Firth had a very similar conversation when offered the script for ‘The Peter Principle’.
    J

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