According to the media generally, everyone does, has done, or did, the following. Not I.

-Hidden behind the sofa to watch Doctor Who as a child (in our house, the sofa was up against the wall)
-Discussed a television show around a watercooler (there are often water-fountain-things wherever I’ve worked, but we don’t hang around them and talk)
-Bought ‘Candle In The Wind 1997’ (it’s utter doggerel. Listen to the lyrics and conclude, as Francis Wheen does, that Diana must have been a hill-walking, rose-scented candle)
-Claimed to have had flu when I’ve had a cold
-Knowing heard any Led Zeppelin (beyond the opening bit of ‘Stairway to Heaven’; I know the names of some of their albums, and could probably pick out some of the members in a line-up, but that’s it)
-Seen ‘Apocalypse Now’ (in any of its versions)
-Had a kebab after drinking too many pints
-Had a stand-up row with a partner in IKEA or a supermarket
-Ever seen a full episode of ‘Phoenix Nights’

Now, I’m aware that some of these are more like omissions in my cultural exposure, but when I read an article or hear someone talking in a way which presupposes the above, I can’t help but wonder if these ‘shared experiences’ are like received opinions, in that they’re not necessarily true for all of us, but are said so often that people start to assume they must be…

*Though you’d probably guessed that.