I know it’s a terrible way to end a story, but early this morning I dreamt the following.

I was in a room with a woman I didn’t know, who was reading a newspaper.article to me. I don’t why or how I knew it, but I knew this woman wasn’t very intellligent.
SHE: It says here that there was a vicious attack, and the victim was left some toes.
ME: What?
SHE: The victim was left some toes.
ME: That doesn’t make any sense. They left some toes? Let me see that.
(She hands over the paper, and I read it – oddly enough, I see genuine text in the dream. All sounds a bit like the start of Richard Linklater’s film ‘Slacker’, I know, but ’tis true.)
ME: It says ‘comatose’, not ‘some toes’. The victim was left comatose. It’s one word, and the ‘c’ is hard.
SHE: Oh.

… and then, as the cliché has it, I woke up.

The above is entirely as it happened around 4.30am, ladies and gentlemen, and I share it it you not so much for the amusement value of the pun / play on words, but because this is the sort of thing my mind does even when I’m asleep.You might think the stuff I lob on my blog is dull, but trust me, you’re getting the edited version. I, on the other hand, am thinking this sort of thing every single second of the day.

Oh, the horror.